If you find some sense in here, do enlighten me :D

This is going to be one of my most incoherent post...hopefully, writing crap would take the crap out of my mind...

, as I was scared...back to hostel, means lesser blogging (which actually might be a happy news to few people I do know of :D ) One of the odd things of doing MBA from IITR (again applicable just to my batch) is the way we have to rush back to college for weekends rather than running away to home on weekends...I was truly pretty jealous when I realized there would be no visiting faculty, and hence no weekend classes for the batches after us :-|

So how has my weekend been till date...truly saying; one that I could live without...no complains actually...its just that I've to learn to ignore things (and more importantly people :P ) I mean, it just isn't fair if a person, who has done something to irritate me, actually succeeds in it...I need to have the flair of ignoring those attempts...

And as usual, and very easy for me, I turn on the philosophical path...how many times have you wondered if you could re-live few moments once again...not to enjoy those moments again, but to actually change your actions of those moments...then again, wishes are like endless...and the times they come true can be counted on fingertips :-| But, again, its strange how the list of moments I want to re-visit to alter them is rising exponentially as I am growing up...there are like so many incidents I just want to change...some petty, some huge...but all which matter to me...And still, I can't say that I'll be any different if I actually face some similar kind of situation again in life...after all, similar kind of aren't exactly similar...and just because I wish to change something of my past, doesn't mean I won't repeat the same mistake in the future (Why can't I...specially when I do such heroic things in exams time and again :D )

I don't plan to crib (that's if I already haven't ;) ) I have no intention of disturbing myself (24 hours of frustration is more than what I really can accept) But I actually am wondering, how to people go on living their lives without regrets....is there any person, who actually doesn't rue his/her actions...and do things really get in shape, sooner or later, no matter how big the issue was...I would actually want to meet some of those people...time for me to learn to ignore things I can't change, avoid people who I know are deliberately carrying multiple facades, learn to be with a million around me and still belong to myself...actually there is a long list of things I've to learn...and I actually am not in mood of any classes...add to it, as I had a vague knowledge beforehand, I don't have an idea where this post is going :(

PS: Planning to catch on to LOST...that's one series where life has gone wrong in one of the coolest way possible...and rather than ruing over past, people are actually busy scheming and having fun (with just brief thoughts about their past...yet to see anyone changing themselves though :P )

PS2: Life should actually come with a statutory warning; "Growing up is injurious to peace and simplicity of life...thinking about life never helps, but then not thinking doesn't help too...in short living is a dangerous choice, think before you are born :D :D"

All good things, come to an end...

Yup...its time again...to pack my bags and head out to hostel :( Somehow, its said that one has the most fun during last few months at college...I on other hand, am the one who counts for the last days to finish...there is nothing to keep me engrossed back in college...same old routine life which I'm quiet bored of living since last over a year n half...and yup, I have been the one complaining that we have so many subjects in each sem, almost double what I generally had in each of my BTech sem...but suddenly, the last sem's reduction in number of subject is leaving me with lots of time to be ideal...and I'm proving the saying 'Khali dimaag, shaitaan ka ghar' to be perfectly true :D

And its not as if, I don't have works pending...as soon as I step back to hostel, I have 2 presentations, a report, and an assignment waiting to be dealt with...and dealt as in withing 2 days...in fact, I was supposed to work on them while at home...but then, whom was I kidding :P If I don't do a thing a night before submission in college, how can I even dream of working at home...common, I was busy catchin up on every useless serial on TV...the more useless, the better...it takes lesser time to get up to date with it...and then again, there was yummy food to eat...as I told ma in evening..."At home, there is no full stop to my eating...all that occurs, are brief commas :P "

A week back, I was counting days to come back home...it has been like one of my quickest visit to home, with no reason...3 weeks at college got a lil too much...and where has this one week gone, I absolutely have no idea...to think of, I did nothing...time just evaporated...no shopping (a new, even by my rarely going out standards), had no friends to meet this time over...practically didn't step out of home even once...and woosh...my stay has ended...in another 12 hours I would be leaving home...but of course, not before planning a visit back to home next month...somehow, my sixth sense says, I'll b going home a lot lot many times this sem...

But then, why is it, that all good things come to an end...people like me always crib about it...more sensible n grown people accept it and happily recall the good memories...somewhere, somehow, we always feel time runs away when its good...whereas bad times stay for an eternity...a super intelligent gal like me, now thinks she should never even by mistake say that its a good time (always crib n complain its a bad time, maybe time would be fooled...and it would stay, or atleast move slowly :P ) I hope by now everyone knows, why I'm called intelligent :D

Now time to turn a lil philosophical...maybe good time ends, for another good time to begin...yup I know I'm sad about going back, in fact I don't want to...but unless I do go, how would I count days to come back (okie I accept, I'm getting home sick...its like worse than I was in B.Tech first year...6 years, and I'm moving from bad to worse :P and all this is because my parents are living closer than ever before :P )

Then again, philosophical things, are things we say, when we just have to try and keep ourselves optimistic (definitely not my forte or cup of tea x-( ) How often, we try to convince ourself, that something we so badly wanted didn't happen because God, or time, or whatever...has thought of something better for us....we try to assure yourself, that maybe things went bad because that's how they had to be, that's what was right for us...but hey, since when is being sad; or being hurt...or even living in bad times, the right thing for us or anyone...logically; can someone...anyone explain it...why is it, that all good things, right things; in life need to come after the whole lot of hardships or after being hurt, or they just have to be painful to accept...aren't the right things, the one which makes us happy, along with others...(don't even ask me what I'm saying, I don't know myself if it makes any sense :P don't u berate yourself in finding one :P )

All said and done, I still don't know, why all good things have to come to an end...why can't we always be happy (don't tell me we got to suffer to actually realize the importance of what we have...or we got to be sad at times to be grateful for the happiness bestowed on us n all blahs...) Simple question, wouldn't world be a better place if we all had the good things, the happiness in our lives...had things not been so complicated...can't v just be a lil more easy...give in from time to time what others need, till it doesn't hurt us (like my college can give me permission to finish my course from distant learning...or fine, I'm ready to go there to give all the exams...they can exempt me from classes, waise bhi teachin nothing new in final sem...God, if I'm made to learn what EOQ is n how its calculated in final sem of MBA, I seriously don't know where I did my B.Tech from...n what I was doin for the last one n half year...itne time mein nahi seekha, toh dear teacher ji's...main aaj bhi nahi seekh paonga...please give up on me :P )

Anyways, bahut bol liya...back to hostel, I don't know if I'll be back on the blog soon (don't ask me what I'm busy with in hostel...I mean I accept I don't study...I'm way far behind in my submissions, I generally don't have classes on weekdays...(weekends are tragic I know :( ), I don't actually go out much (even if Roorkee has few places to go) I (sadly, sorrily, and frustratingly but still thankfully) don't have a bf) but somehow I'm super busy in hostel (these days mostly in my changing modes.. :P ) There is always a lot to think about personal me there ( a task a rarely do at home...another brownie point to home :D ) But seems like hostel is like my thinking palace...with all thought about me, my life...how to do things in it...how to deal with people...uff...aaj nahi sochna, kal se ;)

But then, its not just the good things which come to an end...other things too (you'll soon understand why I said other things and not bad things :P) Even my blog is coming to an end...because sadly I'm not doing much well :( and more sadly, even meds fail to induce sleep...its like over 3 hours since I had a tablet which makes people sleep for 8 hours straight within half hour ( and I'm not lying, my mom is peacefully asleep within hald hour of taking it) but nothing works in my case...seriously an out of this world creature I am...in any case, time for me to tossn turn in bed, n pray for the nocturnal me to find a lil sleep...tomorrow (oops, I mean today..its over 12 :( ) is one of the bad long days...:-|

Its beginning....but it would end too :)

The 'Un'Fortunate News Article...

Guess what?? I'm on a blogging spree :P :P God save the readers!!!

I can't help it actually...I mean my eyes r busy finding a topic...and somehow they find one too often n too easily at the moment...After my last post, which was a result of walking in the balcony, this one is thanks to reading the morning newspaper...and hey, before you point fingers at me that I'm deliberately looking for debatable topics, let me tell u something about me n my paper habits...back at college, the only time I find to read a newspaper is before going to bed...that's like 3-4 at night...given that we as it is are delivered early edition (which precisely contains a day old Delhi's headlines) and again reading it in wee hours of morning, which is my perfect night time, I actually make sure that any news I read out there is like 48 hrs old or so in least...

Now coming to the home scenario, where luckily I don't have to get ready n reach a class in dot 45 min, the first thing I do is to stretch out my arm for the newspaper...and so tough it is...to find the right paper part u wish to read from the hundreds of pages the newspapers in Delhi carry...common, if someone wants to earn a living out of selling 'raddi' they should either be residing in Delhi, or maybe even Mumbai wud do :D Haanji, toh every morning at home, I stretch my hand for the newspaper...to find the right pick for me...which almost always tends to be Delhi Times (exceptions r like Sunday, Life wins over Times :P )

Did nothing new today...see I'm just proving that I'm not going out of my way to find topics...and then, didn't even read the gossips news....(but I now do know about the latest issue between Khali n Dolly...in any case, what was Khali trying to do by opening fires??? ) Anyways, I just jumped to sweet simple cartoonn strips (and for those interested in my cartoonic tastes, I've grown up from Dennis the Menace, I still do read Garfield...recently stopped finding fun in Archies (atleast from the ones that r published in ToI) Between Friends is okie...ToI actually needs to bring in new strips...like the once upon a time Hum Tum...) Anyways, that's besides the point...

On the right of the cartoons, was the daily Finolex Fortune (I still don't know y on this earth Finolex...yeh equation samajh nahi aayi...) written by who?? Anupam V Kapil...I doubt I'll ever remember his name...has he done anything more than write 12X3 lines for 6 straight days in ToI which like appear in a 10X8 cm box...you infact got to strain your eyes to read them, that's one reason for which people like my parents would never ever read it...but then me being me...got to read the news very few people ever read (didn't I tell u in the last post that my heart cries out for the less fortunate ones...)

So there I was...I can't read everyone's prediction, common, my heart doesn't go out even that much, but yeah I did scan down to Gemini (I still am a Gemini I repeat, can never b a Taurus (even made a spelling mistake writing it :P how can I be that???)) And I was just about to complete my daily ritual of finishing reading it...when my eyes fell on the last sentence, the originator of this blog, 'Seek advice from elders'...whoopie...what was that...and whoever this guy Anupam is, was he is right frame of mind...

Let's get it straight...we all have been told since bacchahood, that our elders are the right person to guide us...they 'll solve all our issues when v were kids...they can give the correct advice because they have been through this, their experience is awesome...but then again, how many of us...in their 20some age...actually go n seek the advice of the 'elders'...okie okie, I know there r hands rising up...let me modify the question, rephrase it..."How many of us people, do actually tell our elders about our personal issues and seek their advice?? Remember, I am talking about personal issues, not professional or academic related and stuff...how many of us have actually told our parents if we ever had a break up, or a random person came up and proposed us, or if there was a personally embarrassing moment or any such random stuff??"

Then how on this earth are v to seek advice from them?? And how are they ought to advice us...I accept the experience part...but wasn't their world used to b a different one...common, when my parents were my age, I doubt anything around them was d way its around me...and no, I am not cribbing (though that's my fav thing to do :P ) but frankly, how can someone who lived in a different time period, can advice something...somewhere, I have more often relied on my friends for it...or in some cases my siblings (common, I cudn't even lean much on them, they too r like a decade older than me :P :D )

And no, I don't mean any disrespect to my elders...hell I know they never would give me a wrong advice (like they 'll simply say, its not right to swear without a cause :) or even with a cause ;) ) But then again, a guess a generation gap, so big, exists that we actually never reach out to our elders to really seek their advices in things which matter the most...and its not their fault, its not ours (but yes, starting the sentences with and, which is grammatically wrong, is definitely my fault!!!) I do love my elders, I do dote on them...they do the same, I know...and I'm not questioning their competence...but again, I do know, they haven't been the first person I reached out for advice...they probably never 'll b...but that's life...(now coming to the cribbing part...watch out :P)

How I wish I was a lil baby kid again....running out to ma to complain if a cousin broke my doll...sobbing in di's arm just because I knew my tables till 8 but my cousin knew it till 11 (when she actually made me realize that 11's table is a cake walk, and also understand the fact that my cousin didn't really know d table of 8 :D ), it was fun to complain pa about ma, to demand a new pair of shoes right their n right then...that was when my elders could help...that's when I sought their advice...for now, I am grown up (don't go on my intelligence for this claim, but just the number of candles my next cake should ideally have) I have to face things on my own, if I get into a mess myself, I need to find a way out of it too...and now is my times, to stop asking for advices, and just be there, giving back to those who spent their lives giving it all to me...

And yeah, you guys can leave your comments, and request me, never to touch the newspaper again, definitely not the fortune section....but then I'm an Indian, I need a bribe for it...promise me a good handy supply of novels round the year, and I'll think of staying away from the newsprint :D :P ;)

A Perfectly Imperfect Life...

I am back...pretty too early even by my most active season standards...actually at home..bunking classes (for the first time, without any reason, since I joined the thou so holy Indian Institute of Technology :-| ) and truly, don't have pretty much anything to do...(other than the job of changing everyday, but that just happens, I don't have to put in even the tiniest bit of conscious efforts in it :D ) and surprisingly, I am in a good mood (have left few disturbing things to God for the time being...does help for a while in any case, as evident :) )

So all in all, a perfect moment to keep on blabbering...pour in all that I feel like...for I can b sure I won't b too sad, too bitter, too cribbing or even too melancholic...sometimes I wonder...why do I blog..common, I actually don't have a purpose...nor do I post anything that might be relevant to anyone or help...but then again I readily acknowledge, I can't serve to all those greater purpose in lie kind of things...chotu sa baccha hoon...chotu se kaam karta hoon...

Just so happened that I was venturing out in the balcony of my room at home...and Voila...I got some food for thoughts (not that I ever do need to think anything...I always keep finding sumthin to feed to my thought process..but then finding things not related to my lie r a lil tough...) But before I talk about what happened today, lets go to flashbacks....

I was like 5-6 sumthing...an absolutely pampered darling of the house...all comfy n what not...what made me uncomfortable was seeing someone suffer...n no, I am no Mother Teresa re-incarnated...I can't say that I actually went out of my ways to help someone or stuff...but I couldn't bear looking at a dog with a broken limb...or a gal my age walking in shabby torn clothes..asking for food...I'm not proud of myself..but I always turned away my glance...I refused to look at them...I didn't have that strength...

That time, I can make an excuse, I wasn't old enough to help them...but then again, I am no different today...I still don't really make an effort to do anything about things I can cry for...I still prefer to ignore lil kids asking for money down in trains, in front of temples...somewhere, it was imbibed in me, never to give alms...I can pass on some food packet...a couple of biscuits...but I can't ever take the money out for them, it has some logics, I would better not speak out on...and then again, I still can't prong myself to care for a hurt animal...no excuses made on this one...

But just standing out in the balcony, made me wonder a lot many thing...I was standing on first floor of a bunglow...on one side of me was a well renowned apartment building...who's price runs into crores...on the other side were the under construction mall buildings...which in a couple of years would be all lighted and glam'ed up...in front of me was a supposedly modest authority allotted flats...but right ahead of them, infact between those 'still modest flat' and my building was the area which people like me tend to look away from...there were those small huts of tin and plaster...which were covered with plastics n torn clothes to ensure, unsuccessfully, that those who inhabit them r a lil safe from the cold winter winds...there were more people in every single those houses than the number of people at my home, each room of which is definitely bigger than those houses...

And what did strike me even more strongly were the kids of those homes...they were running across on that dusty 'kucchi' road...they were happy...their smiles genuine...I did click a couple of pics with my iPhone...and trust me, that time I detested that state of art gadget in my hand...that gadget was worth lots n lots more than a small old bicycle with those kids...and yet, it couldn't make me have a carefree smile...yup, I was jealous of them...for the people in the places v tend to leave unnoticed, looked happier n more content than me...it just wasn't done...

Somewhere, I crib, life hasn't been fair to me...somewhere I make everyone agree that I've lost way way more than what a 20 year old gal should have ever lost...but looking at them, I just felt one thing...I have much more than what the people right in front of me have...and I am still busy complaining because I have started taking things for granted...life has almost become a run for comforts...a journey to pursue unending wishes...nothing ever is going to be enough for me...and no, I won't live from those who were in front of my eyes...because I know, I always will have just one more last wish making me slog, cry, plead, work for it...but yes, I definitely would try not to look away from things I can't bear looking...for they hold in them the power I lack...they do make realize that I am blessed...to sit back for a moment and that for all the lovely things I have been bestowed with...

I definitely don't have everything I want...I know I'm not the favorite child of whoever writes the story of our lives...I know there are people with a much better life than me, even the picture perfect kind of life...but then again, I know I've much more than what I'll ever need...I am definitely a pampered child of my family....I have had my share of woes, but I never was left alone in the worst of time...and yes, not the most, but I still am blessed :) I do have a perfectly imperfect life......

Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop Zindagi....

Yup, yet another blog title copy-lifted from a song... (I so hope no film producer ever stumbles over my blogs...he can sue me right away :P ) but then, I can't help if this songs matches my thoughts...always heard that life keeps on going, things keep on changing, people come people go, things happen....n time, it just stops for none ( and yup this is coming from d same gal who wud often crib n cry that she is getting bored n time is refusing to move...whereas before project n assignment submission, she wud b wailing for an extension in last dates, though mind you, she always has had things submitted well in time; even 5 min bfor deadline is well in time :D )

Wow, looking at the above paragraph, I can rename my blog as "The blog which has more contect in brackets than anywhere else :P" I mean common, this is my signature style, I can copyright it...go for an IPR...oops, I can't...given that IPR is the fav topic of a prof I detest x-( Okie duniya waalon, you can surely copy my style, and 'll never b sued..I am pro Google person (that's until they start claiming that Android is going to take over Apple n throw across me a couple of Android fans who wud leave not a single chance of bashing Apple products...common I never asked for comparisons, I never claimed superiority, but accept it, the leader is Apple...it paved a way n many followed...n yup followers do add some better features, I heartily accept ;) )

And now its two paras down...I'm still far far away from anything related to the topic...n no I can't copyright over this habit...afterall most of the shows in India exactly do it...deviate from the topic....then be it the sitcoms channel, or the news channel...the only thing I learn from them is, how to keep some attractive title and nick, and then give out the same crap n ofcourse, promise them that something better is coming after the break...so I promise you, there is finally some subject matter coming in the next para :P

Yup, so the title...my life is changing, for better or worse, I don't know...common, I don't even know if I actually want to change or not...but I'm changing...n nopes, unlike last time, no one this time around has come to me n told me that, 'Hey look, this ain't you...this ain't the Pooja we know off...so better get back to your old form' ...So well, either only I feel that I have changed, or maybe I've changed infinitely lil, or maybe I've taken too long to change, that no one cares any longer, or maybe changed or good so everyone is happy n no one wants me to get back in my old Avatar...or worse of all...I just haven't changed :D

Khair, this blog is more of a disclaimer...I am in the process of changing, what I say today, might not hold good tomorrow, bcoz I'm evolving, my preferences are changing...the things I want n don't want are changing overnight...if y'day I craved for someone, maybe tomorrow I'll detest that person...(and common, if the number of zodiacs can change overnight, y can't I...in fact I can blame on them, for turning a perfect Gemini into a Taurian....and to think of, being Gemini was the only thing I was perfect at...I so detest the whichever 13th planet it is x-( )

So yeah, these days, either I'm hyper excited, or downright low as in nearing depression...and when I say I no longer understand myself, doesn't mean I'm all gloomy, its just that I keep shocking myself...for a while to come, please do not trust me...I don't trust myself :P (wow, with this disclaimer, I can actually do anything n then shrug, I told u not to trust me...I'm getting cool :D )

I'm soon going to be 24...in a few months I'll have to whack my brain (that's just in case if I have any, should give myself a benefit of doubt na...waise bhi, if the whole nation can hope that India wud win WC this time around, I at least can hope I do have brain, its probability is more in any case...and that makes me wonder, no actually I don't know...it gives me a mixed feelings, this wud b the last WC for SRT this time also...or is he plannin to play in 40s too?? )

Anyways, where was I...turning 24...yup, I am going to turn 24...and I don't know what it would bring along with it...but I do know, I'll have to write my 24th step (and don't ask me y I'm going bonkeres about it 5 months in advance...simple reason, the way I delay things these days, if I start thinking about my steps a month in advance, they wud come out only by the time the year ends :-| ) Yeah so those 24 steps made me realize, I actually have done nothing much in this big step...yup got a job n all that...but other than that...there hasn't been anything cool to write about till date...so yeah, I guess it sounds cool to have a drastic unplanned change :D :D

For starters, I always loved being alone...I still do...but now I get bored of my solace...( pretty understandable, bcoz as I said, I don't understand myself any longer...) Secondly, I, the one, who is famous for going on talkin is slowly turning quiet (okie okie, the blog won't make u believe it...but its a fact...n no, this ain't my decision, it just happened...most of the people close to me are either too busy in their professional life...or have got settled down (yippy bracket n ander bracket :D settled down mean completely thrown their life on rocks by either marrying or at least finding the completely (un)suitable life partner, boy/girl friend...whatever), or well, they just have better things to to than to listen me (common even you got something better to do than to read this bracket n ander bracket wala blog :P ) so well yup I am more often quiet, more so by circumstances than by choice...)

Right now my mind if restless...full of ideas (when is it not I wonder :P ) But no seriously, I want to do something, kya woh mujhe nahi pata...maybe actually pen down a write-up (which I'll have to bribe people to read), or come up with a fab idea (again give real good incentives to people to call it as fab, common if Dhobi-Ghat and Golmaal 3 can get really good reviews, my ideas definitely can't b tougher to like :-/ ) or well, just start a new phase of life... (yup, I am confused...sometimes I am absolutely sure that I am kid who can't handle herself, forget handle a relation...and other time, I am like..hell so many of my friends are getting married...why shouldn't I ruin someone's life too...24 years of sole existence is actually very uncool ;) )

But all in all...I'm loving my changing persona...I like meeting a new me everyday...in fact at times every hour...these are the perfect days to witness me absolutely happy at a moment...and then lost and phased out at the next...and no, I am not into taking any decisions for the moment...sometimes you need to let life low the way it wants to... (after all how else would you be called philosophical, n how otherwise can you blame life for all that happens with you...and just you...main hi kyun kinda :D ) I like changes...and I hope I definitely wud like the changed me...

Enough about me...and for those who are bored reading about me (oh common, finally accept it that you are...even I'm bored talking about me...) do leave me some wacky ideas to write on...else if not about me, next time it wud b some gloomy serious emotional topic...which is even more scary than the times I talk about myself :D

And I do hope to turn up more often than the self imposed rule of at least a post a month....would b around here...in hopefully less than 35 days...take care, enjoy the changes in and around you...with a pinch of salt (abhi tak woh mehnga nahi hua hai hopefully \m/ )