New Year...A Perfect Excuse...

Another year rolls by...and last night, when I changed into my philosophical gears, I asked a simple (you know it can never be simple coming from me :P ) question from the poor soul who was accidentally talking to me that time...

"Why do we make such a big hue and cry for welcoming a new year...specially when about 364 days down the line, we would be more than happy to get rid of it...looking forward for the next year...and does it hold true only for years, or is this something generic...we wait, anticipate and look forward to something...and very quiet often a few days down the line, don't we wait to get rid of them?? "

It's a night for celebrations, I understand...those who love partying keep finding one or the other reason for that (on that note, those who kind of love going back home and spend days with nothing to do, too wait for excuses to do that, me being the perfect example..) And nothing wrong in it....after all, finding little happiness here and there is what life is all about (there I am, back in the philosophical shoes :D )

But then again, to me (would be sounding like the old granny I always do) a change in the year isn't all that important...what is important to me is an excuse to reach out to people I should reach out quiet often to..and it's a sad sorry story when you need excuses to talk to people, excuses to disturb their busy schedules...then again, life is that ironical...so yeah, even if 1/1/2012 doesn't hold a special place in my heart, I am going to use that as an opportunity to pop into some lives..anything that brings on a smile, or gives you opportunity to do, what you want to do, is to be cherished...

So frankly, I don't know if I would cherish 2012 (how I had such big dreams from 2011 and for sure spent more than half the year cribbing and complaining...a year back I didn't feel like going back to hostel...a year hence I don't want to be back to office...the places change, I remain the same ;)  Given up on me, for I can't change :P ), but I do know, I will cherish the first of Jan (and hope the second never comes, got to fly back...sighs I counted hours for coming to home...now I can count hours left at home...something less than 40..sighs...sighs...and a few more sighs :| ) and though I don't keep much of hope on 2012 (yeah I don't change, but I am still hopeful that I do learn) but behind my back I will have my fingers crossed, hoping that the year would be a little different...the year would be one I won't be happy to see roll by...

And if nothing else, this year better give me some good incidents to share after a year, so that I don't have to come up with yet another melodramatic, borderline cribbing, and definitely philosophical post next year around...As for resolution, none...I have learned I can't keep any, and I no longer wish to be a fool to make any...

Wishing everyone a prosperous new year...a year which turns all the hopes and dreams true (few though would break...the one I can think of immediately is of the believers of the Mayan Calendar...let's wait for December, next year ;) )

And the year rolls by...

Sometimes time just doesn't moves...like a month back I was wondering what would I do in a month long hols...today, when they are already over officially, I am wondering where did time fly by...I don't want to think about goin back to hostel in another couple of days...to me; vacation had just started...and they already have ended...probably my last sem break...my last of holidays at a go...but then again, its not just the sem break which got over...its a year that completely rolled by...and I am caught unaware...

This post is more of customary...after all, I haven't yet posted my this month's blog...and if not much, I really wud like to stick to at a post a month...and then again, isn't it a rule somewhere for all those who write blog to make sure to put up one about new year...to think about what has gone by in the past one year...to make plans for the next coming one...so here it goes...

What has gone by...u do need to think of it once before u let it go...(and trust me, letting it go isn't something that comes well to me...) but then again, its was a roller coaster year...I had the happiest phase of my life...I had the saddest too...somehow 2010 was perfect...it showed me that life goes on...no one stops forever in your life to share your happiness..but then again, even sadness doesn't last a lifetime...I just lived it as it came...yup, I took decisions, some of them gave really nasty results...but then again I don't regret...because at that moment, it actually was all what I wanted...things which worked out were great...but things which did not, they were worth it till they lasted...and though I always can wish and sulk as to why they couldn't remain the way I wanted them to be...I am glad, they at least did happen to me...

I am not angry with anyone...because to be true whatever happened, happened thanks to me...and being the hopeless I am...I either don't love anyone, but when I do happen to love someone, make a person special for me, they remain so for lifetime...so till the time I last, those people who have earned, captured, or by fluke even undeservingly entered my life n claimed a part of my heart, you all would always be close to me, special to me...because refusing anything to these guys is like refusing myself...trying to hurt them would just hurt me...and I am way too selfish to harm myself :)

If that was the encrypted (and highly confidential statements) about last year...the next year should ideally start with the new year's resolution...but then again, I am very good at breaking those resolutions, so for a change I have resolved not to make any...and now since I've to break that resolution, I'll try my best to be more sensible...grown up, mature...optimistic..happy (and add all the other good characteristics one should have...not as if the resolution we make are supposed to be realistic :P )

On serious notes, I guess 2010 took care of my professional life, so I really am not worried a bout it in 2011 (I don't think a company would throw me out before even joining it...at least jhel legi mujhe for 6 long months...) So 2011 is going to be dedicated to my personal life...and as I keep saying, I've invested my 23 years (specially last 4-5 years) to make a complete mess of it...I can try to devote a year to sort it out...waise bhi mature me, should have big mature tasks to do...relationships along with friendships, have never been something easy to carry through for years...I sure have made a number of unforgivable errors...but this year, I just would try to make things right...I'm not too ambitious, so I don't hope to have exactly the best I had with sweetest of people back...but definitely, a new starting...another chance is what I do hope to get...

Thats it I guess...more active on blog?? No idea, definitely none...but yeah, I am plannin to put more of my post on the public blog rather than confining the chance to read my blogs to the lucky few (okie okie, dear lucky fews, do not curse me as to why at all I gave u such unwanted chance :P) Lets see, how much of it I can work through...seems like a long list, and given how lazy I have been over the last couple of days ( for eg I took 4 days to finally change my completely chipped off nail paint...it took me over a week to finally sit down n write this blog), I really don't think I would be doin much in the coming year...but then, lets see...and start the next year on a positive note (I after all did change the nail paint, and really am writing the post :D )

So fingers crossed...for a more optimistic, less sulkier, more happy and vibrant, less gloomy me...but then again, really be a lil realistic, and don't start hoping that I would stop bothering and disturbing you, specially the elite few...they would know I am talkin about them...you guys, definitely aren't getting rid of me...so that aspect remains the same...

And here is to all, who have happened to cross by my life in even the tiniest way possible...no matter if you stayed there, no matter if we share a big long deep bond or not...no matter how closely you know me (or think that you know me)...and no matter even if you have hurt me (trust me, quiet a few of you, actually have)...and even to those whom I have hurt (I most probably didn't wish to...but me being me, I often do things I don't intend to)...wishing you all a very very very happy new year....wishing a new beginning...and a never ending journey of happiness and success...