Answers, she didn't wish to know...

Contrary to popular belief, it is easy to read a person's eyes...more so if the person is close to you...what is tough, is to gather the courage to look into the eyes of the one you care about...for you fear what you might see there...and then again, it is easy to listen to someone talk everything good...what is tough, is to believe them...

Being human, she chose the easy way...time and again hearing what he said...unable to truly believe in it...and she knew, she would know the truth if she looked in his eyes, but she just couldn't gather the courage to do the same...truth is good...and she respected him for being true...but hopes and dreams are necessary to live...she wanted to live...so she hoped for him to be wrong...she dreamed of changing his heart one day...

Logically, rather philosophically; for she was always great in philosophy...which human is not; she knew it's not right to demand someone to change...it's not even good for her own self to hope someone would change...how can they, when she could not...but then, where he was concerned, philosophy failed...logic never had a part to play...and she knew it was something beyond her...for once, she has to take a detour from her planned out, penned to perfection life...and take a risk...play a gamble, she was assured of losing since the very first day...but she still took the chance...she chose to wait for time to come...and hoped for him to change before the time comes..

She smiled, she laughed...not just to show...but the real ones...and she collected those memories...the time spent with him was precious...more so because it was running out...so fast that now, even when she was in his arms, she couldn't help but think of the night when she would no longer have the warmth around her...she knew it was time to make the distance...to slowly slip off his arms and get used to the vast space of the bed...but somehow she couldn't make herself do that...she couldn't stop her treacherous body of slipping a lil more close to him...of her arms cuddling him a lil closer....sometimes she felt like holding him so close, wrap him so tight, that they could no longer be distinguished as two different beings...how does she engulf him in her...or get lost inside him that no longer the two of them could be separated...

She ended up kissing his forehead softly...looking at him sleeping in peace...wondering if he ever had the thoughts on similar lines...wondering how he could sleep, while she is busy trying to find a way to stop the running time...or find a way to be together before the time runs out....it was easy to put the blame on him...accuse him of never really wanting a forever..wasn't the fairy tales ending in 'happily-ever-after' meant just for gals...but at times like this, she did wonder if she wasn't great enough to be actually coveted for life...was what they shared not precious enough to be fought for...and then she knew, it wasn't easy to fight...she wasn't sure if she was ready for the fight either....but then, she wasn't even ready to let go off him...and for sure, she had no idea which of the two paths would she choose, had the choice left to her...and a slow smile spreads on her lips...for she remembered, she had all the choices regarding them, a say in all that he and she shared, but this was one choice she wasn't offered...he had made clear of it way back...when the time comes to make this choices of fighting and fleeing, it would be his...

And while she was the one counting minutes till the time runs out...she couldn't help contemplating how he would make his choice...for isn't he the one who never first hand did hurt...not that she never cried in the relation...or whatever it is that they had...but it never was his intention....it was just because the two different individuals they were...the way one was too emotional...the way other lived in the moment...the way she thought about future...the way he was cool with all the present day brings with it...she couldn't help but wonder, how he would give her the first direct blow...how would he make the choice that could wreck her apart...how would he go about giving her that expected shock...would she really meant so little to him that he would do that in a minute...or would he finally fight for her because he felt something unlike he felt for anyone else till date...and maybe, oh no; for sure, his eyes held the answer to most of her questions...but, she didn't have the strength to face those answers....

She kissed his closed eyes softly before slowly settling back on his chest...kissing him soft, closing her eyes...if only he ever took two minutes to notice, why she couldn't bring herself to look in his eyes...why she is busy escaping his gaze whenever they were together during the day....did he ever wonder why she makes it a point to sleep after him....because in the darkness of night, when he is sleeping in oblivion with his eyes closed, is the only safe time for her to look at his face...and remember his picture for the years to come...the only way she could truly appreciate him and collect more memories to thrive on while avoiding the answers to her endless questions....for she chose to be happy...to live in the moment even when the future bothered her...to be with him till time came for it all to end...after all, love made her strong to play the gamble...but love made her weak to face the answers, not till she has a choice to escape from them...

A Walk Across the Sun by Addison Corban

I just loved the cover of the book...it was kind of 'Pick me up, I look so glam' kind of cover...and yet when I read the blurb, it was anything but a glam book...the first one by the author, set up in Indian background, which coming by an author who isn't Indian, deserves accolades (in fact, I did wonder, why can't the Indian author pick such serious stuff about Indian background rather than concentrating on love stories and collage romance gone right and wrong)...

It's not a happy novel...child trafficking and molestation never is...being a novel it does give everything a believable but happy ending (as happy as it could ever realistically be), but then again, it was honest in a couple of parts...where it clearly said, trafficking isn't something that would stop by stopping the sellers...you can stop one, hundred new would arise...it is going to go on till there are buyers...sex is a commodity, till the buyers exist, people would sell...and there is no way to eliminate all the buyers...not in our lifetime...that's the harsh truth, a truth none of us can change...

I liked the way it moved...at points it made you understand that it's not just India...any country, no matter how advanced, has its own section of people who are living a life worse than hell...simply because there are people in every country who are well-off, rich and still sadist enough to take pleasure in putting someone through hell...it showed the red light areas not just of Mumbai, but went on till France and New York...and they aren't just Asian gals...there are Russians, there are Americans...what started from India, what centered in India, took the global picture...

This is one thought provoking novel (which really tempted me to write a couple of more philosophical posts...I am somehow trying to hold that temptation back...because somewhere I feel I've already turned life too serious and I need happy thoughts not things to ponder and wonder over...the book is great, my timing to read it was wrong)...and then again, no matter how much I liked the novel, I still would say, it's one, one should think twice before reading...for it would leave you feeling helpless...it would make you cringe..it would make you wish you could help change thing...but in the end you 'll know, there is nothing you and I can do (or at least nothing we would really take up to do)..

After coming with all the cons of reading a novel I really would recommend, I'll have to say it has its pro too...it shows you the faith of two young girls..it shows you what being human is...you come to detest life...you want none of it...you count days and minutes of agony...and still you don't think of dying..because there is someone you want to live for...even when it looks like nothing is worth living...it shows love too...not the romantic one, but the bond two sisters, who lost everything in moments, share...none of the cruelties life served them weakened the love they had...

It shows the healing power of memories...living in past doesn't help...but sometimes our past gives us the courage to live through our present...it's just up to us, which past we chose to think about...the happy one or the sad one..and how we perceive the past...

It shows that growing up corrupts us...the sweetest and most angelic person in this book was a ten year old kid...who really didn't care how the world of elders work...even after having a set of parents who were as far as one could be from being role models, the child remained pure at heart..he showed the selfless caring, without a reason...

The two sisters, Ahalaya and Sita (I loved the names), weren't larger than life characters...though at places I really wondered how can they survive through all this...the protagonist, Thomas was very much human...and wasn't made a larger than life character...he had his shortcomings...and he wasn't made a hero turning miracles..things happened, and thankfully they didn't give him the entire (or even little) credit of being the reason behind those things happening...fighting for the gals, he somewhere found peace in his life...his wife would probably need a little more analytic to be understood...

All in all, a nice read...at around 380 pages, coming towards the last 100, I did feel it could be trimmed a little...there were too many details about the combat operations one could have done without...but then again, for most part of it, it was a page turner...even if a sad, heart-wrenching one, it was a page turner none the less...

The Perfect Mornings "They" Shared...

They never were morning persons...not until they started welcoming the mornings together...she was someone who found it easier to sleep at 6 in morning, rather than waking up at 6...he was the one who tried ending his day by 12, till before he met her...when you love someone, you don't try to change them, you start changing for them...and they both changed...for each other...

He made sure his night begins after hers...she ensured her days started before his...she had realized that mornings weren't all that bad...specially when they meant it was the beginning of one more day with him...and no, she wasn't afraid, that another day would mean she had a day less to spend with him...for she knew, she had him for her life...or eternity...whichever lasts longer...

Cuddled in his arms, feeling him from head to toe, she had welcomed countless mornings with him...it was a surreal feeling...watching the sunrise through their bedroom window...waking up that early in the morning, gave them hours to talk to each other...a time where the worldly troubles still were to wake...moments when they were fresh enough to talk about themselves...of every tiny li'l thing that mattered to them...those were the moments of plain, unadulterated joys..planning the evening ahead...giving words to the unspoken promises of the night before...having their fill of each other before they lost each other for the few waking working hours...

Life was too fast paced...days were demanding for both of them...but then, when you really want to live few moments, you take out time to create them...morning was their time..a time for togetherness...a time when the rising sun's light ensured brightness in their lives...when it was time to get up, and live the dreams they had weaved together at night in reality...

PS: Just had to write it...specially since, I woke up like around 5:45 in morning after ages (don't worry, I went back to sleep right away...because of two reasons...unlike her, I didn't have anyone to welcome the morning with...and somehow 5:45 in morning doesn't mean sunrise in Hyderabad...it was all dark looking out from the window) But for moments, before I went back to sleep, I did wonder, it must be something special to welcome mornings together as couples (even if its a Monday morning)...have a little time for each other before the matters of the world and jobs took over the day...who would enjoy the mornings better than 'they'...after all, night paves the way for morning...and after amazing nights in togetherness, mornings couldn't be anything less for 'them'...and it's a short one...well, because I slept within a couple of minutes (and hence couldn't go about imagining the finer intimate details ;) )

Their - The Wordless Unison

She was lying on his chest...her eyes closed...his heartbeats were so clear to her...it was a rhythm she had memorized by heart...those heartbeats were her personal lullabies...the melody that relaxed her as she slowly slipped into oblivion...sleep is supposedly rejuvenating for everyone, but she could bet, the few moments she was bestowed with before the sleep took over her, were the ones most precious to her...

Each night there was an unspoken effort to prolong those moments...secretly she tried to keep the sleep at bay as long as she could...and she knew such an effort, from her side, won't be appreciated by him...it was simple to understand...if she wanted to savor every moment of being close to him, wrapped in his arms...he wanted to see her sleeping in his arms...he secretly craved to see her oblivious to the world...sleeping without a care...him being her whole world...

It wasn't as if he had no idea what she felt, unless she was asleep....all the while she was awake he was aware of the love she had for him, or the trust she had put on him, of her every feeling, things she said, looks she gave...they said it all...but in all honesty, it was when she was asleep in his arms he felt her extreme level of belief in him...in her abandon at night, he could see her innocence...her face resting on his chest made his chest warm like nothing else could...her palm resting on his shoulder, made him believe she would always be beside him...holding on to him, for his life and hers...

It had been her fantasy....the whole idea of spending the night in the arms of a man...a man she could trust, a man who would have her completely...a man she can claim as solely hers...and that's all she had told him...no, in fact she had demanded him to wrap his arms around her...it feet so safe and secure...not that she feared being attacked, but she so wanted to feel wanted...feel precious...feel protected...

It made him feel special....someone wanting him, needing him around to find her sleep...it made him feel elated, he was what coming home meant to a special girl...if being in his arms made her feel special, it was because she was special...it was because she made him feel like he thought he never would...there is something beyond words which happens when you know someone looks up to you...you tend to give them the best you could...you try your best to be the person they believe you are...and then you realize, you truly are the person they thought you to be...it's not that you are putting an effort to be what they want...it is just that you enjoy being the person you are in their company...maybe that's what you always were, but never realized...

He felt her soft breaths on her chest...a soft smile spread on his lips...after countless nights spent together, he knew she is almost asleep...he knew she was losing another battle of hers to keep waking...he kissed her hairs softly, as he patted her arms softly...she feather kissed her chest before losing herself...it was time to travel...time to leave the beautiful reality they both had weaved together...to vivid colorful dreams...for they knew the dreams would come true....they both were already living in one...

Who says love needs words to be spoken out aloud...who says eyes speak it all...sometimes during the dark hours of night...all it takes is the tunes of heartbeats and the whisper of breaths to say it all...and it speaks louder than words....and is clearer than the sight of eyes...for it comes from the two hearts, who know each other..like they are one...

PS: I just couldn't find a pic serene and warm enough to put it on here (maybe I am looking out for a dream whose pics do not exist in reality...so after spending a time longer than it took to write the entire post, I finally gave up and settled down with the pair of legs...no pics came close to match the writer's imagination after all..)

Her Terrain of Thoughts...

Every so often she wonders, is she the odd one out...is the life of everyone as simple and yet as complicated as hers...a thought always wandered, was she living the life she preferred to live, or she was living a life she was expected to live...

For few life is a one time opportunity, to be exploited to the hilt...for few one time is too many, for her...she never knew...she loved it at one moment, she detested it the next...there was fun in seeing two sides of the coin..but that was a scary part too...only those who live in extreme of two emotions can understand what living in two parallel world is like...she was her best friend, and she was her worst enemy as well....

To wish for something, rather someone, and have that person, is the best present one can have...or she thought...but then stability never stayed forever, she knew...it just is a matter of chance and luck...which side you are on...the one who stays back...or the one who moves ahead...it's a game one plays life long..no matter what you are made to believe, it's a fact of life she realized...no two person can love each other, value each other in equal proportion...and you need not be lovers to fit in the equation, it holds true for all relations...be it siblings or parents or friends...there always is one giver and one taker...and in the end, it was her choice; which side she wanted to be in each case...

And choices are kind of ironical power bestowed on you...no matter what choices you make, there would always come a time when you would regret not choosing the other option you had...she had those regrets too..but how can she forget the happiness she had felt when she had made the choices she did...it was once again her choice, to cry over things that happened, or smile over all what she went through...for one thing she was sure, no matter how her life looked to an outsider, once she really gave an account of the real life she had lived, no one would be able to say she had lived a boring life...the only thing, she wasn't sure of, was...whether she wanted to share her life completely with someone...

Maybe she was too greedy for it....there is not much you can preserve from the world...you can't confine someone, you can never be sure that there exists a secret between two people...for things to be secret they have to remain within you...and the only thing she could keep away from everyone was a part of herself...it was only her she can truly have the satisfaction of knowing better than anyone else...or maybe she wanted someone to peel layers after layers of her...she was looking for someone who would take the pain and make the effort of knowing her, treasuring her, hating her...but all the same loving her, like she did...looking, not waiting...because over the time she had realized, waiting has been highly over-rated...you never know it, until you take chances...

PS: Just one of those moments, when I just need to write...a 15 minute break and self indulgence...maybe the after effects of a novel read...maybe I got lost in the 'She', 'He' and 'They' I once had created and never made a headway with...just had to get these thoughts on paper...or keypad in this case :)

iReview: "Other Words for Love" by Lorraine Zago Rosenthal

Pre-Script: How I wish my arms were long enough to reach my back and I could pat myself...for a simple reason...it's the third book I'm finishing in as many days...that's the benefit of being at home...and I'm even more glad because I am reading, rather than watching the re-re-reruns of the serials on TV...Last but not the least, I am hopeful that one fine day, I actually will gather the skills of reviewing a book in the nice proper manner...but till then, I'll keep writing at least about the books which really touched me...Thirteen Reasons Why was one...and well Other Words for Love is yet another...

In fact these two books have made me wonder if I ever grew up...these are the books based on teen characters...and I'm like 5 b'days ahead already...but still...I can relate to them...I can feel what the character are feelings (okie never the suicidal part of the previous novel)...Either I'm stuck to being a teenager (And I will be happy...after all which sane gal wishes to age after 16?? ) or maybe we Indians experience at the age of 24 what gals of West experience when they are like 16-17...

Coming to the novel...It didn't have much of a back cover note kind of for me to determine if I would like  it or not...I didn't check the GoodReads rating before opening it (I guess the forgetful me always does it somewhere in between her reads)...just having the word "Love" in the novel is often an incentive enough for girls my age (or rather in teens lets say :P )...and the starting of the novel scared me...It was set in 1985 (I still wonder why?? maybe because the author didn't feel like using cell phones or internet chats :-/ ) and I never have been good with classics (yeah to me anything before the time I was born is a classic!!) 

To be honest, the starting few pages weren't all that encouraging...the only thing that kept me going was that the chapters were small, made you feel that you are making a good progress and the number of pages in the novel were less...added advantage :) And the author being a first timer (another common feature between this n previous novel) I actually never expected much...

So the story is about a 16 year old gal, generally referred as Ari (please don't ask me the complete name, it was complicated :P )...it's about her life, her family, her school, her friends, and of course her love life...what I loved in the novel is the fact that it revolves around just a handful of people, and every character has a depth to it..they are all well defined and shaded out...and well, the novel shows all the facets of love...casual love, affairs, love for someone who is dead, love for your child, love for the spouse, the dream of love and happily ever after...every character of the story is interesting as per me...and none has been comprised for the sake of highlighting Ari...

It's the story of Ari who never found acceptance in her peer group (though I don't know why...but let's just accept it she doesn't and it's not very hard to accept for me..) it has bits about Evelyn, Ari's sister who as per her mom failed in living up to the expectations...it has Evelyn's husband (who I don't know how come attracted so much female attention but eventually like for loving his wife)...it's about Ari's parents (her mother mostly...the father is not much mentioned but I loved a couple of scene between him n Ari towards the end...they sounded so real :| ) and then it's about two completely different friends of Ari...and finally about two guys in Ari's life...her dreams of settling down and happy ever after (and don't you dare ask me since when American gals think of settling down at the age of 18..yup the novel traces her from 16-19 about ...)

I won't go on saying how much I accept the ending, how much I don't...it's a person to person perspective..some would love it, some would hate it and some would just hope it could have had an open end...Goodbyes are never easy, and to some people like me, there never is a final goodbye...the novel has some really sweet moments (the ones a gal like me can absolutely fall in love with)..it has some real heart breaking moments...love isn't always about happiness and love doesn't always motivate you to move ahead...at times love leaves you crushed...and that's the time your stamina and strength is tested...again, I don't accept the part where Ari actually fell into what looked like an abyss...but then it's realistic...it probably is what generally happens and I am so thankful that the novel didn't end before getting things right (I wouldn't have stood by a second suicidal novel :| )

All in all, an amazing read...just keep the patience for the first 75 pages...take whatever the crap is happening as infatuation (and we know it actually happens!!)...after that it's a compelling read....

My Rating: Definitely a 4.5/5 ...this one deserves it...at least from all the young readers (yeah I like to call myself that and I'm sure lot many else would like to call themselves young too :P )

Post Script: I realized at the end of the novel that the writer is a psychiatrist...maybe that's hoe she understands and brings the emotions and feelings of every character so alive...I never felt an over-drive of emotions are a lil bit too much of melodrama...give it a read, whenever you get a chance... :)

iReview: Thirteen Reasons Why

Pre-Script: I found this book while I was randomly browsing a books catalog...the few lines in there were eye-catching...this novel promised to be different...how often do you find a novel about a girl who is dead...who in fact, ended her life...but not before leaving her last words, for people to listen....whether they wish, or not!! And trust me, when I found the novel, I thought I have found something uncommon...only to realize, after I finished reading, this novel has been a big hit..has a completely dedicated site to it and soon releasing as a movie (a fan made trailer) too!!

Suicide, has always been a topic which raises few eyebrows....no one really knows why people kill themselves, or at least we never understand...somewhere most of us, have thought about ending our lives...killing ourselves...but then, it's just a passing thought...the same way we think about bunking a class (and the useless ones like me, generally just think about it, never able to do it in reality :( ) or like we think that we should start this business venture...definitely, death isn't a pleasant thought...so in the end, none of us know (other than those who have had a failed suicide attempt) as to what was a reason so big enough that they finally got the strength to end it all..the debate of whether someone who has it in him/her to end their life is a person full of courage or is someone who just isn't brave enough to face life....

This novel, is just an attempt to understand what leads someone to decide they have had enough of life...and no, I'm not praising this novel for justifying a suicide...in fact this novel, in my eyes, is a wake up call...a wake up call that seemingly (un)popular gals, the ones who r hyped, the one who have a completely active social life, are hanging on to life by a very thin thread...a thread which can snap by ever so little incident...It's the story of Hannah Baker, a teenage gal who has recently killed herself....It's the story of Clay, a guy who loved her, but just didn't have the strength to confront her...it's a story about their school, their classmates and their teachers...

A chunk of it is difficult to relate to...simply because Indian environment is a lot different from the western school environment (at least I haven't had that school life :) )....but then, a lot of it is actually identifiable...the confusions, the gossips, issues of heart, dreams, hopes, the thin line between right and wrong, blames and parties....there is so much in this novel...seemingly small incidents, the ones we don't even realize are happening, leaves an ever-lasting impact in few lives...

One thing, this novel stresses is, a suicide isn't the result of one massive upturn of life...it's more often than not a series of lil events...and probably all it takes to avert a person on the verge of killing themselves is a supporting shoulder...someone who can listen, someone who can accept...but worst of all, generally the one who is about to end it all, rejects all the support which comes to them...because in their eyes, they aren't worth it...a suicide isn't about someone who blames the world of their miseries, it is more often about a person who blames themselves for the miseries of the world...

Coming to the novel's narrative...it's a dual narrative, which is handled very well...the italics for the girl's voice in tape...normal font for the listening guy's actions and thoughts....13 people who the girl thinks should know about her story, because they had a part to play in it...a couple of stories weren't the ones who warrant attention...somewhere I missed the parents of the gals...they were in-existent in the story (though the boy's mom turns up...n she in fact leaves a friendly presence...) But then, in the end, I don't think the gal could justify her decision to kill herself (somewhere I wanted to see her alive at the end of the novel...wanted that as a shocking event...but nah, guess it wouldn't have worked well for the novel :| ) 

And other than a couple of people who the gals take a stab at, I couldn't find a problem with the rest...what they did, is probably what all of us to at some point in life...it's nothing conscious, it's just the human nature...maybe in the end the novel tries to leave you with the question if you can actually help the ones who decide to end it all...it definitely motivates you to...but is in check with reality, that maybe you can't...you can't help the ones who can't handle life...who either take all the blame, or just pass all the blames to the rest before ending it up all...

Give it a read, because it's different...because (for the likes of me) it hasn't been long since you've lived that life yourself...or because the people around you, the ones who matter to you are living this life...read it, because a lot of it is identifiable...read it to understand how seemingly worthless actions of yours can alter someone's life (even if that someone happens to be a gal who can make a mountain out of a mole!!!)

My Score...well 4/5 (you gain it all for the concept and the narrative...but you lose one because, well I just couldn't accept that all that happened in Hannah's life was an excuse good enough to end life!!)

Post Script:- I hope everyone who ever has or will read this novel, 'll end up believing that they are stronger than Hannah...that they are better and more determined than Clay...because in the end, a suicide affects the people around the victim way more than the victim itself...just to ensure you sleep peacefully, make sure; everyone who matters, who is reachable...is happy and sane...

iReview: 'Never Look Away' by Linwood Barclay...

Back to a book review after long...not as if I didn't read books in between...did finish John Grisham's "The Confession" and even mid way through yet another by Jeffery Archer, "Prisoner of Birth" (midway because of project deadlines n then exams n definitely not bcoz there r issues with the book, I definitely 'll resume it one day :) )...but then I felt that maybe reviewing books isn't in my genes (I mean common, my blog is more of incoherent thoughts written down, how do I deal with something dealing in facts and reality :P )

But then this book, has been a lot of firsts for me...so this had to come to the blog...this is the first book I've read by the author (and I guess for a long time it's going to be the only one, because well...this one is claimed to be his best production till date...and why read other books by the other and ruin the impression you've about him :) ) ...

Then again this book is the first book I read a gist of in the recommended books section of ToI (they had it in the weekend planner of theirs on Friday...things to do over weekend...and how do I let them know that I finished the book they recommended in like 24 hours...and no other book in the list given by them excites me enough to start them....I need more nice recommendations!!!)

Another first in this book was, the way it's written...most of the novels I've read, has it all in a third person sense...there are characters, and those character's actions n thoughts are discussed...a complete impersonal way of writing (and well, I doubt, that's how I prefer it even now)...but this novel was different...it was all full of I, my mother, my father n so it goes on...reading a novel in the first person, was definitely a change; and probably the only way I really am not much fond of...I mean common, you are a author, the main character of the novel is a journalist, but still there is something more comfortable in talking about third person rather than the "I's" in the novel (or maybe just that I don't adapt to the changes well!!!  And it reminds me, most probably Chetan Bhagat writes the novels in first person...but then his novels r still believable, ones you can relate to...this novel is a pure fiction...and definitely not something I want to relate to ;) )

Coming back to the novel....it's written in the simplest of English you can think of (at one point of time it made me wonder if Barclay has some Indian connection!!!) and what's more interesting it, there were points in the novel where the author had used lines inside brackets (it felt so sweet, I can't express it in words...he keeps the faith alive in me that maybe one day...just one lucky day, I actually can pen a novel :D :D :D )

So the novel is a perfect storyline, in case Ekta Kapoor feels like making a thriller (common, even she is slowly, at snail's pace, moving away from the Saas-Bahu regime..) it has all the twists n turns in place...starting from the slow notes of the I (David Harwood), a journalist with a simple usual family (including a wife who has issues like every couple does, a naughty son, parents who are just like the typical parents) and has big ambitions about journalism....it starts up as a story about the guy who wants to find a story, curb corruption, bring the true picture of  the political set up in place...but well few pages down the book, as in real life, his personal issues starts shadowing his professional troubles...nothing is what it seemed...and he is left wondering if he even knows the identity  of the woman he was married to for 5 yrs, is the mother of his 4 yrs old a women capable of maternal instincts??

Starting from slow notes, a guy working on a news story, planning a family picnic...to the guy who lost his son, found him only to realize a missing wife, for whose murder he would be a suspect, a wife turned strangers...strangers who have a hand in the whole ordeal he is going through and strangers who would face the ordeal themselves...at one point of time, you might even feel there were a l ot too many characters in the novel...characters who really weren't needed...who didn't have a depth...they were there, maybe to increase the thickness of the book....

The book has its fun moments...the detective (Duckworth), mostly has nothing special in him to stand out from rest, but his lil personal side ( the way he sneaks sweets n high calorie food while investigating the case while his wife has put him on strict low carb diet, the way he feels the things aren't right when the clues keep pointing just one person, and so on) makes sure that he doesn't become one of the investigator we love to hate just because they r hell bent on framing the guy n get him behind bars...

It's a simple book...a make believe book, a book which can make u wonder do u really know a person u have lived with years...it goes to high profile sections n then comes back to day to day usual life...in the end it's just about common people with (thankfully) uncommon incidents...

Give this one a read, if you like thrillers...if you are into family reads...if you don't want a novel who keeps you on the edge with every page turn (at one point you may feel that the twists and turns are getting predictable...but even that's worth, because  you 'll continue reading just to find if you were right :) ) 

The best part about the book...you won't end up hating anyone...even the one person behind this whole commotion is bound to win over you by the end...this book, somewhere shows that we are a product of our upbringing....even the worst of us, the most inhumane of us, have feelings itched deep in us...and it's only when we are looked off, not cared for attended to, that brings the worst out in us...

For a happily ever after, for a family that stays together...for the love that grows and blossom year after year, there is just one way...."Never Look Away!!!"

They...

It's like remembering a scene from Hum-Tum.....There definitely exists a story between Hum and Tum, or so they said throughout the movie....and yeah, story they did have...even if it took a decade for it to meet a happy ever after....but then, that was a movie, does life has something called happy ever after...more often than not; life, by the virtue of it, has phases of up n down, ever after....what Hum-Tum had in store must have been seen by Indians a number of times with some smiles, some laugh riots, and some dedicatedly emotional people must have enjoyed it with tears... 

What They have in store, no one knows....neither does He, nor She...not even Me.........

You and me, meet a number of people in our life, some leave their footprints strong in our mind, some steal a part of our heart, and for the most...they just don't make a difference....with time the footprints grow faint, the heart recovers its pieces, but then there are times when all that time does is make the thoughts go deeper, hearts grow fonder...for these are the times when someone special walks in our lives, to remain there forever...the only irony of the whole situation is, on the face of it; we just never know where every one of the thousand of people in our who comes in our lives would fit....only time tells, there is just no being proactive about it....

He and She met....They had to....somethings are just destined....but neither does she nor he, knows when did they first meet each other....do you call their first meeting as the time when they together crossed the busy road intersection along with at least another two dozen people, or was their first meeting a lil less crowded rendezvous, like the time they brushed across each other in the school corridor....

He remembers noticing her first when her name featured somewhere in the list of "Girls to Date With", a result of  some very determined and diligent efforts put by one of his friend....it was all in fun, but then; he being he, should at least know every girl featuring in that list...even if she happens to be somewhere at the end, or maybe mark the end itself....

She, well she being a perfect she, can't ever confess knowing him before he noticed her....girls, as an unwritten rule, never take the first step....if asked to her, she would say, the first time she noticed him was when she received his friend's request....his profile pic, as per her, was the first proper look she had given to him....for he didn't look much familiar...and though they shared an array of mutual friends, adding a stranger, was just not cool....

But yeah, they did notice each other...they did over a period of time acknowledged each other's presence...formal meetings, informal gathering, common friends....when you are a teen, a lot is happening...to ensure you keep on bumping into each other, every now and then....and to be honest, they in reality, had no idea, when they actually took a step ahead of looking, meeting and noticing....

And that was how it was....for the years to come....they were their...just for the moment...same school, kind of homes in near vicinity (though never did one visit the other), the same building where they spent half their time...classes together at times...gossips that reached both of their ears...at times consistent, polar opposite at other views...the only things that actually did bind them in those early years were probably things and people who ranged from the ones to leave footprints which fade with time to the ones which never made their mark in the first place...

Neither of them had anything above acknowledgement for the other...they were two different individuals...so different...he was busy hanging out with his whole big gang of guys...trying to come out as the Cool Guy...he had a persona of carefree life...enjoying the moments..taking things as they come....She was completely opposite...there wasn't a gang for her, she was happy with the lil bunch of close friends....the demeanor of a girl mature more than what her age demanded...no one could even in their wildest dreams, could see her as The Happening Girl...They barely were what they looked in people to make them friends...so, forget a love story, it would take them years, to even become a friend....if ever they do....

He

Pre-Script: This one was tough :P ...being a gal thinking about a guy's perspective in any case is tough...that's why a three days break even when I had planned to come up with the "He" in the very day itself...and yup, I know this might offend few "He"mans :D

He was born to succeed, or so he believed....being second was just not acceptable, right from the birth...maybe that’s why, even after being the second child in the family; he was the preferred child...he was born in the usual Indian middle class family...he sure was his father’s dream, his mother’s world...his sister’s adored brother...he in fact, was probably what his family looked up to, to change their lives, to secure their future...with great power, comes great responsibility...his demands were commandments for his parents...the price of it, was to fulfil their dreams, to be ahead of the race...

Not much can be said about his past, guys hardly talk about the times they were kids...but anyone can be sure that he had lots scrapped knees in those days, for he still had them...every game, every activity...he was prone to sport a mark or two...call them the testimony to the battle he had fought, and yes; won...ambitions are good, wishes necessary; but when you get in the habit of winning, accepting even a minor setback is tough...any other guy in his place would have been happy with what he had achieved...what he was capable of...but he was forever in the agony of not being the best...there always was something better he wanted, nothing probably was enough for him...

But he was human...he wasn’t a super-hero, he wasn’t the prince charming...he had his share of short-comings...or maybe they were short-comings in the eyes of the people who looked at him, because he was sure this is the way wanted to be...so often, the world witnesses the successful men...and every so often are those achievers alone...guys, even in the upbringing of our times, are taught to hold back feelings...he mastered the art pretty soon...emotions do not produce winners...his target was victory...a lil sacrifice of things or people, all was worth it for him in battle-field...emotions were a weakness...and rather than wasting time in the feelings which couldn’t be helped, he preferred investing time in ensuring that feelings did never arise...

Or so, he pretended...for humans can never let go off their thoughts...no matter how strong a mind is, it can’t altogether put the heart on silence...no matter what he claimed, tears in the eyes of those who cared moved him...he knew he was failing those who wanted and expected more than his fame and accolades... maybe it was easier to handle professional life than personal...he wasn’t running away, he was just ignoring it...but with time, probably failing in the same...

How would anyone understand him, when he failed to understand himself...he was a guy, so sure of himself, to the outside world...that no one could even imagine that he can be guy who breaks down alone at night...his maddening drive to succeed probably had camouflaged his need and reason to succeed...how long can one cut himself off from people, from relationship, from any distraction other than work...he had people around him, but he know there were hardly he could have called friends...how long can he pay the cost of his dreams, the burden of his responsibility, and most importantly, how long till he wrecks himself, a part of his fighting with himself...he knew he wanted someone, someone who can hold him together when he loses it out...but how does he ask someone to love him, when he has resolved not to love anyone...

Post-Script: Really nothing to say as such...this one, as said before can never match she...after all being a gal, I in any case can put in more colors to the gal...and well, this biasedness would continue...if, ever, this he and she together have any story forward :) However, hopefully there would be some break...and some trying out new things before coming back to these two fictional people ;))

She...

Pre-Script: Yet again, a completely different kind of attempt by me...just wanted to try something new...try not to read too much between the line...it's a lil of me, a lil of fiction, a lil of what I see around me...and I'll try to make this one short (oh trust me, that's one of the toughest thing for me to do :( ) Just giving theme based writing one more try, and playing with words myself :S

She came in this world as her brother's dream, his favorite person, as she was reminded for a good number of years...As she passed her birthdays, she loved hearing her grandma tell how much her father doted on her, her silly demands being orders for him....Her mom was probably the only disciplinary in her life, the only one who had a heart to refuse her whims and yet, her mom just wanted the best from her because mothers generally do know what their child is capable of...Blessed, she definitely was, for she had a sister who made sure she never felt odd in place, even if it meant her sister had to act like a child, ages younger than what her sister really was...She grew up reading stories that ended with "and they lived happily ever after..."

Life was simple, or maybe she was smart enough as a kid to treasure n remember only the pleasant incidents, or heck, maybe memories so distant usually turn themselves into a rosy picture...she knew she the preferred one, and she indeed made sure to get things her way...calling her spoiled might be unjust, but lil gals become more lovely, when they r just a lil willful too....like any other gal, she loved her dolls, they all had a pretty name....and years later, the pictures of those very dolls would remind her of her very first mean act...she regretted it as soon as she did, but she was scared not to admit it...yes, she was already growing up, even when she continued to love playing house and doctors....

Year passed on, time never stops; no matter how much one wishes....against all attempts, she did have to grow up....she saw a lot of what she never wanted to see, she got glimpses of her dreams come true...and then there were the days, when she realized that dreams are just dreams...she knew she would survive, she had what it takes to go on...and she did battle things which people probably never face in their entire life...she was strong, she was weak...she was normal and yet it seemed as if nothing around her had any semblance of normalcy..she was predictable and she could surprise the hell out of you with her unexpected behavior....she was an enigma, even to herself...she accepted she was humane, she was prone to error....knowingly-unknowingly, she was bound to hurt people...it stopped affecting her too much, she no longer spent sleepless night repenting for her deeds....

Her readings now ended on sad notes, they were full of complicated relations...no longer was life a game of black n white, it was grey all over....she loved her family they were always with her, somethings actually are forever...but then somewhere, somehow deep inside, the bonds were no longer so pure...she laughed, she cried, she actually did live...but somewhere down the years, her life was robbed of her...a part of her might have given up, but a chunk of her believed it's not over...there is a lot yet to come, and it would be a shame if she misses out on it...so there she sits, with a thousand thoughts in mind, a heart that has survived the winds of time, looking at the present with thoughts of future...yes she is a fighter, living life always has been a war for us...she would rebel, she would buckle, she would rule, she would kneel...but she knows, she has it in her to leave her identity in the world....

Yes, she has the child of yesteryears safe in her very core....for that's the childhood she wants to gift to the one of hers...she isn't extra-ordinary, she is you, if you truly look in the mirror....

Post-Script: I won't re-read what I've written, that never has been something I liked doing...I just hope it didn't come out as completely insane n insensible....and it didn't have a lot of "She" :P ...yeah I could have kept going on...at least doubled what I wrote...I'm sure I've missed a lot of her...but then she is beyond words...just something I noticed as I finished the piece, I haven't used any emoticons in the parts of her...and a post with so less of smilies (they being restricted to pre and post-script) is just another new to me :) . Do leave the thoughts on this one, if you have any...even criticism is welcome...that might be the only way you have to ensure that I keep my hands off from such stuff :)