Sunday, October 28, 2012

Of Routine, Changes, Courage and of course; Life...

The extended weekend is ending...and it would be back to usual official weekday schedule in another few hours...and that's not to say that my weekends aren't usual...it's kind of same stuff I end doing every weekend, extended or not...make sure to finish a novel...catch on at least a couple of series from US/UK (which makes you wonder why don't we make something as engrossing and sensible as then...why are we stuck to daily shows rather than weekly...why don't we believe in seasons but go on n on n on in continuity...)

Anyways, in short, coming to the crux of it; every now n then (more often than not), life gets predictable...same old set of rules...same routine...same things that happen, and same that do not...and then every once in a while (rarely), we try to break free of the mould...to change things, because the routine is no longer acceptable...but then again, do we really know how to break it...we probably know nothing but that usual routine...that has been the life for us...and that's why, even though we wish, hope and pray for it...we resist changes...even if we know it's better to change some habits, to learn something new...we have an impulsive tendency to make no changes....to let things go on as they are...

Trying to bring a change...proposing a change, is a risk...a risk we won't take...not in general...not unless we are forced to...because though a risk can be rewarding, what we see is how it can hurt...how often do we resist wishing for something  better, just because we fear we might end up losing the little routine that we have...the routine that we are probably bored of, but is still better than losing it altogether...no wonder, it takes courage, to explore, to discover, to succeed, and mostly importantly, to fail...

Who says, losers are coward, the cowards are the ones who never played...the losers were the ones who risked it all...who took chances even when they knew they could end up being called 'loser'...they were no less, if not more, brave than the winners...and the more you are willing to lose, the more you stand to win...but then, few things...few people, few moments...are too precious to be lost, they are what makes you feel secure...they give you a stability...so you hold on to them...you make them your routine...you try to be content with them...live with it, be happy with them...and you try no to wish for more...but then again, when you don't try for better,  you end up with one inevitable question...is what you have, going to stay...you aren't trying to move up to something better, won't one to you just slip to something lower...

After all, there are some strange way of nature....even to maintain our routine life, we need to take the risk...try to make changes...resist our implicit instinct...keep on bringing something new...keep things alive...to ensure, we aren't bored of the routine...and the routine isn't bored of the same old us...

PS: Once again, I started with something...and reached totally somewhere else...with lot of hidden meanings..playing with words, which conceal what I meant at place...a code, buried so deep in words, that maybe if I read it again myself a couple of days down the line, I won't get it...but that's where the fun lies...read a line; and interpret it the way you like...even if we don't change...the words, apparently remaining same, change in their meaning...sounds a lot like life!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Wandering thoughts...

I hold you close...I cherish you..and I detest you...I know I'm never going to get rid of you, maybe, actually very likely, I don't even want to...

You moisten up my eyes, both in happiness and despair...you have defined me, or was it I who created you...you really haven't turned out to be the way I wanted you to be, you aren't exactly what I hoped you would be...but that's the way it always has to be...things aren't supposed to be the way we expect them to be...else where would we find the challenge of changing them...but then I don't know, do you create me, or do I create you...which one of us is dependent on the other...

It's tough to separate me out from you...you are that much woven in me...what we share is a perfect love-hate relationship....how so often, I wish you weren't here...that I wasn't forced to deal with you...and then suddenly when I am down, you turn up to be the one to bring smile to my face...

There is so much I've done, it could be right or wrong...but you took it all...you nurtured it, you make sure I know of my deeds...and it's not that you really teach...I do same things again...sometimes you win, proving me that I would end recreating you...sometimes you lose, I end up rewriting you...and as much as I want to run away from you, I'll still come back to you...because you are what I know for sure...you are what I identify with...

You are my friend...you are my foe...you are my shadow...or maybe you are 'Me'...


“Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart.” 
― Haruki MurakamiKafka on the Shore










Sometimes they are not, but they precious still the same...Because they are, who you are...