It was the birthday of the cutest, sweetest, coolest, without doubt naughtiest (and at times the most devilish) 7 year old gal I know of...and we kind of share the perfect love-hate relationship....probably she is the closes cue I have in understanding mom (the part where you love and really care, rather have all the motherly feelings in the world for, and still you can't help but end arguing, bickering, fighting and correcting them)...
And I know she has the best mother in the world...if the 7 year old teaches me how to be really happy and enjoy your birthday (not that I am a great learner/ follower...I still won't be able to gather even 10% of her excitement)...her mother showed me how much can you really plan for the kid you were threatening and warning just 24 hours back...
Some relations are probably just like that...you openly would hurt each other, say things you never really mean...in fact there would be time you probably would actually even feel that you mean each and every hurtful thing that you are saying....but dig a little deeper, and you will realize; you turned hurtful because you were hurt (not that it's a excuse good enough, but still, it does holds true)...
Feelings are always like that...unreasonable...you never can really justify what you feel, why you feel...it's just that you are in a particular mood, and you expect the world would go as per your mood...I still remember the time I used to really count the days to my b'day...I know the time I was super excited...I needed to have a new dress, I had to distribute chocolates in the class...I wanted the cake at 12...and when did it all slowly turn into wishing for a quiet b'day...planning a test to see who all remembers you b'day (as if you are Gandhi incarnated and very soon your b'day is going to be a national holiday...)
There is a girl, who is growing up...and slowly turning into all that I probably have already turned into...in front of our eyes, she would one day become someone who knows everything in the world but has misplaced her innocence and childish zeal somewhere...and what's more, in all probability she is most probably actually looking forward to grow up (and that makes me again wonder, are b'days really the time to rejoice...each passing year is a little more of innocence lost, a little more of responsibilities piling in...some more of worldly tasks to do...and then again, how old are we, when we really realize that we should have never wished to grow old...)
I don't know what to gift you sweetie-pie...for I know all you can wish for at the moment would be yours (of course, a brother would still win over a pet dog in your demands....and we can't really gift you stars)....there is something I truly wish for now, though it can never be attained once lost...I just wish you the zest for life..I won't wish for you to grow up, I will just wish you retain the child in you as long as you really can... growing up is necessary to move ahead in the world, but staying a child within is even more necessary to have a life, full of smiles...
And I know, your maasi is saying something which would make absolute no sense to you...but one day it would (after all you might read this one fine day...given that you get the reading genes from your mom)...and that day won't be too far I feel...for I still remember the time when you were yet to come in our lives...when I had your mom completely for me (yup, I am a greedy girl..I loved having sort of two mothers ;) ) and I remember the tiny little you...I still remember making those diamonds from the hand...singing Twinkle-Twinkle a hundred time, just to ensure you get distracted and gulp down a little milk (you really haven't grown up from your habit of making it a real long task to ensure you are done with your food!!)...I remember the time you made your grand-parents a kid with you...I remember the time your nani really craved for you once you were gone back...I won't forget the 3 year old you taking classes of 7 year old lots...how would I ever forget the umpteen fights we always had (yeah, your mom still blames me of becoming a kid of your age with you...and somewhere I am thankful to you for making that happen...you wake up the little kid, the devil one, in me...)...and I really can't wait for the day you actually come back here...forever (which is a long time, but isn't all that bad in India...you and I can fight way more often and I can gather lot of other things to remember!!)
I am not too good in saying things aloud...you aren't old enough (thankfully) to understand the complicated web of feelings...but if you ever do feel lonely; just remember, there are loads of people; who love you...a lot...and though the world would seem against you, you just have to thing of few, and they would be there!! Wishing you a real happy b'day...once in which, you don't really have to grow up...but just have all the fun, and be treated like a princess...for you are one (or a pixie, if that's where your new interest lies...my fairy who now has wings ;) ) Happy B'day Dear!!
(PS: You actually have a personal right around you...and though you might not always love her, and I don't agree by her ways...she is probably the best gift you got 7 years back...an angel of a mom!! )
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