Her Terrain of Thoughts...

Every so often she wonders, is she the odd one out...is the life of everyone as simple and yet as complicated as hers...a thought always wandered, was she living the life she preferred to live, or she was living a life she was expected to live...

For few life is a one time opportunity, to be exploited to the hilt...for few one time is too many, for her...she never knew...she loved it at one moment, she detested it the next...there was fun in seeing two sides of the coin..but that was a scary part too...only those who live in extreme of two emotions can understand what living in two parallel world is like...she was her best friend, and she was her worst enemy as well....

To wish for something, rather someone, and have that person, is the best present one can have...or she thought...but then stability never stayed forever, she knew...it just is a matter of chance and luck...which side you are on...the one who stays back...or the one who moves ahead...it's a game one plays life long..no matter what you are made to believe, it's a fact of life she realized...no two person can love each other, value each other in equal proportion...and you need not be lovers to fit in the equation, it holds true for all relations...be it siblings or parents or friends...there always is one giver and one taker...and in the end, it was her choice; which side she wanted to be in each case...

And choices are kind of ironical power bestowed on you...no matter what choices you make, there would always come a time when you would regret not choosing the other option you had...she had those regrets too..but how can she forget the happiness she had felt when she had made the choices she did...it was once again her choice, to cry over things that happened, or smile over all what she went through...for one thing she was sure, no matter how her life looked to an outsider, once she really gave an account of the real life she had lived, no one would be able to say she had lived a boring life...the only thing, she wasn't sure of, was...whether she wanted to share her life completely with someone...

Maybe she was too greedy for it....there is not much you can preserve from the world...you can't confine someone, you can never be sure that there exists a secret between two people...for things to be secret they have to remain within you...and the only thing she could keep away from everyone was a part of herself...it was only her she can truly have the satisfaction of knowing better than anyone else...or maybe she wanted someone to peel layers after layers of her...she was looking for someone who would take the pain and make the effort of knowing her, treasuring her, hating her...but all the same loving her, like she did...looking, not waiting...because over the time she had realized, waiting has been highly over-rated...you never know it, until you take chances...

PS: Just one of those moments, when I just need to write...a 15 minute break and self indulgence...maybe the after effects of a novel read...maybe I got lost in the 'She', 'He' and 'They' I once had created and never made a headway with...just had to get these thoughts on paper...or keypad in this case :)

New Year...A Perfect Excuse...

Another year rolls by...and last night, when I changed into my philosophical gears, I asked a simple (you know it can never be simple coming from me :P ) question from the poor soul who was accidentally talking to me that time...

"Why do we make such a big hue and cry for welcoming a new year...specially when about 364 days down the line, we would be more than happy to get rid of it...looking forward for the next year...and does it hold true only for years, or is this something generic...we wait, anticipate and look forward to something...and very quiet often a few days down the line, don't we wait to get rid of them?? "

It's a night for celebrations, I understand...those who love partying keep finding one or the other reason for that (on that note, those who kind of love going back home and spend days with nothing to do, too wait for excuses to do that, me being the perfect example..) And nothing wrong in it....after all, finding little happiness here and there is what life is all about (there I am, back in the philosophical shoes :D )

But then again, to me (would be sounding like the old granny I always do) a change in the year isn't all that important...what is important to me is an excuse to reach out to people I should reach out quiet often to..and it's a sad sorry story when you need excuses to talk to people, excuses to disturb their busy schedules...then again, life is that ironical...so yeah, even if 1/1/2012 doesn't hold a special place in my heart, I am going to use that as an opportunity to pop into some lives..anything that brings on a smile, or gives you opportunity to do, what you want to do, is to be cherished...

So frankly, I don't know if I would cherish 2012 (how I had such big dreams from 2011 and for sure spent more than half the year cribbing and complaining...a year back I didn't feel like going back to hostel...a year hence I don't want to be back to office...the places change, I remain the same ;)  Given up on me, for I can't change :P ), but I do know, I will cherish the first of Jan (and hope the second never comes, got to fly back...sighs I counted hours for coming to home...now I can count hours left at home...something less than 40..sighs...sighs...and a few more sighs :| ) and though I don't keep much of hope on 2012 (yeah I don't change, but I am still hopeful that I do learn) but behind my back I will have my fingers crossed, hoping that the year would be a little different...the year would be one I won't be happy to see roll by...

And if nothing else, this year better give me some good incidents to share after a year, so that I don't have to come up with yet another melodramatic, borderline cribbing, and definitely philosophical post next year around...As for resolution, none...I have learned I can't keep any, and I no longer wish to be a fool to make any...

Wishing everyone a prosperous new year...a year which turns all the hopes and dreams true (few though would break...the one I can think of immediately is of the believers of the Mayan Calendar...let's wait for December, next year ;) )

The Pact, which never should have been...

It wasn't something new or surprising...Jodi Picoult does it time and again...puts you in a place and makes you choose one side...shows you the two sides of a coin n then asks you to disjoin them into the black and white...the problem is, the coin is a whole, and you really can't break it into two...

The Pact, I picked up this novel quiet long back...but then I didn't pick it up in the hardbook form or even in the ebook forms, maybe that's one reason it took me so long to really read it...with nothin to do while sitting in a really uncomfortable flight (yes IndiGo, I 'll think at least ten times before booking into yet another flight of you guys, after I finish my journey back to Hyd), I popped open the mobile version of The Pact, a novel resting in my iPhone since almost 2-3 months with barely 30 pages read...

I can't really review the novel...for Picoult makes sure you never can pick a side completely...all I know is, given the tragic beginning, she for a change surprised me with the best ending one could have asked for...after all the unfair things that happened in the novel, at least the end was a little fair, though unbelievable...

But the novel again makes me go back to the much used, abused and still never understood topic of love...I don't know how Picoult finds it...she comes up with a side of love none of us could imagine...I probably still can't relate to it even after reading through that impossibly long novel that I couldn't keep down, because I had to know what had happened...would be rather melodramatic, but as a fact, it did hurt to read a lot of what was in it...but it wasn't possible to let go off reading it..

And now, I don't want to think about it, but can't help thinking...there are quiet a lot many flaws in the novel...there are parts I still won't accept...are we so strong that we decide to end life even when it holds almost everything perfectly for us and still so fragile that we can't talk about things that are killing us from inside...can you love someone so much that you would do all they say, but never expect them to love you a little and tell you what really is disturbing them...can a million happiness be overlooked by an incident that happened way back and probably bears no scar in your present...and most of all, what really love and truth is, rather than being a matter of perception...Everyone's Truth is different...and so is everyone's Love..

There is not much I can really say about the book, it definitely is no literary masterpiece...but it does what it was meant to do...play with your emotions, put you in turmoil...

I can't help but be jealous of the girl, she had it all...probably not exactly the way she wanted it...but life never gives it all to us...but she did have the parents to whom she meant the world, she had the friend she could talk all with, she had love which probably exists only in novels (and yeah this was a novel too)..a few detours, few things going wrong, doesn't mean you get to kill yourself...or make someone else's life even worse than death..

I can't help but be amazed by the guy...how do you do that..how does love really make you do things a sane person would never understand...you can hurt yourself for the one you love, but how do you let the one you love give up everything...do you really play God, believing that you can handle it all yourself...

I simply won't be able to comprehend it all...for the book is about three things I never have understood...

Love, a different perception for every individual,

Truth, no one really knows if there is an eternal truth;

Death, more specifically suicide; it just is not imaginable...for someone to choose it as the last option, specially when life gives you a plenty of better things to choose from, Always...

Anyways, I need to get back to read some light, romantic, cute, funny novel....and get some peace for myself...

And hopefully, by the time I am back with something else to blabber on, I'll be in happier mode....Adios...

PS: And I so happened to go by her site and read what the lady herself had to say about her piece of work, in case you are interested to read more..Jodi Picoult's words about The Pact

Attraction, it is!!

Ever wondered what keeps you waking at 4 in morning...yup, it being a Saturday night, no office the next day, no work pressure (though I still have a pending deliverable which I am trying to ignore as best as one possibly can :P ) I can't believe it's over 24 hours since I haven't opened the office laptop :D :D :D , though truth be told I've accessed my official mails 3 times in these 24 hours....

Anyways, other than weekend and work (which to be honest hasn't yet) what can keep you waking till 4...lots of thoughts definitely (thoughts that generally tend to b lot speculative, sad, depressing, ruining and what not....yuck!!! night is such a precious thing, and these thoughts are certainly not welcomed to ruin it, but then most of the time they do :( )....In my case a perfectly sweet novel can keep me awake too...n yeah, till an hour back or so, I actually was reading one and completing it in one sitting...nothing new in that though...

But there is more to it...unlike my usual cry stories (yeah yeah I sob a lot, even I know that :| ) or loads of gyaan and philosophy (though I'm sure I'm quickly going to switch to at least one of these two...) I am quiet happy tonight...and when you are happy, you should probably live in those moments...why waste them sleeping :D After all waise bhi, these days I rarely find myself all happy n cheerful...and the best part of the story is, it's without any reason...what more can a gal ask for than to b in an unreasonably happy mode (even when she has lots to worry about, and I won't even start counting items on that list...I'm determined to be happy for the moment, am I not using the word moment too often :-? )

So, question for the day (or night or whatever 4 in twilight time is) is...what exactly attraction is...I won't play with the definition of it, for a change, but then, I do have questions about it...do attractions make any sense....do they need to make any sense...is being attracted to something, to someone a good or a bad thing...and the most important of all; how is it that we get attracted to only few, most of it, most of it to probably things which we really don't think we ever can like...

Maybe attraction is just another word for insanity...for finding yourself do things you have no reason or excuse for doing...the only bottom line is; somewhere like love, you can't help what or who you get attracted to...and like you can't stop it from happening, you just can't make it happen too...it just happens, to give you a lil sweet thing to wonder about...and spend a night figuring out, how did it happen...that too when you had given up the hope of it happening again....just like falling in love, you probably get attracted when you are convinced it never is going to happen to you again (and I am saying this, just in hope of that the former would happen, now that the latter has happened :D )

And last but not the least (the truly philosophical part is going to come, so brace yourself!!) why am I excited that I am attracted...not because I believe I have found my true calling...or bcoz I have found a promise of a future (if I know myself well, I get bored of things as quickly as I used to get attracted to them...yeah it was me who loved embroidery and kind of excelled in all kind of stitches only to leave it since ages now, it was me who was crazy about making soft toys....me again who once loved dancing n has two left feet as of now, me who talks to a person hours at length for a day or two, only to find she doesn't want to talk to that person again, as she has nothing to say or listen to :P )

But then, of late, it has been so long since I really found something I looked forward to...life had become kind of boring and drag...and so I was so afraid that I've become an oldie (you can still stand firm in your belief that I sound like a granny, but I know I definitely am not one :) )...but I was quite convinced that nothing interests me anymore...and now, with the new found attraction, I am happy...I am all normal, convinced that I am still living, still looking forward for good new things in life..still open to experience, and best of all, I still can have a new beginning...So here to hope, faith, love, peace and last but not the least a new found belief (yup, this sentence is added for the pic I selected, just couldn't resist it :) from wherever I found it, it had the caption laws of attraction ;) )

But for the new morning I really need to call it night...and one way or other...really put myself to sleep...finally, for a while (with a hope that I get up in an equally good mood ) :) :)

A Penny on Happiness...

There are few words in life, and defining those words, takes an entire life...and most ironical of all this is, life itself happens to be one such word..love and happiness are few others...and since love is so talked and discussed about, come a less debated one...happiness..

I read a novel by Jodi Picoult a couple of months back...never bothered writing about it, because it happens to be a novel with an open end..you just won't know what to do with it..it grips you strong and then leaves you wandering for answers...like with most of Picoult's work, this one forces you take one side, the only catch being there is never a completely right or wrong side...

Anyways, it so happens that the dad of the main character in the novel happens to be an economist...and he has theorems and equations for a lot of intangibles..and maybe that's where economics gets an edge over maths and physics...it's easy to play with figures are reach out to a definite conclusion, but how does one ever reach to the conclusion for an emotion..how do you define a rule for something, which by virtue of it is random...

There is a particular line (out of quiet a few) in that novel that caught my fancy, "A mathematical formula for happiness:Reality divided by Expectations.There were two ways to be happy:improve your reality or lower your expectations."

It looks so simple...only if it truly was...for ir does give the formula, the underlying equation and it still doesn't tell you how to really achieve either of the two ways...if only improving the reality or lowering the expectation was even half as easy as it is to ask someone to do it...

Do we really start expecting more over the years...I really am baffled by the question...if I remember correctly (even with my failing presence of mind...) nothing much has changed in what I wanted as a 16 year old till date (yeah a gal is always stuck at sweet 16 :D ) Maybe what has changed is that slowly the reality sinks in...the reality that what looked easy enough to achieve once, slowly became possible to achieve if really dedicated, to its tough to get it but then dreams are always tough to achieve, to finally the inevitable end of, we see dreams because they are a good way to escape reality and dream rarely do come true...

The reality also probably never changes...it just sinks in more deep...or takes a new face...no one really knows which way it goes..

And yeah, though I accept that I am lil high on the cribbing scale, sometimes I really do wonder, how many of us, the people of our age, our times...are really happy...am I the odd one out, or is it normal to spend days in search of one true happy moment..A long lasting satisfaction and peace, now looks like a distant dream...there are miles before it happens, there are miles before I 'll b contend...

What would you choose?

A lil argument, a friendly banter...some accusations and lots of lectures...it all happened, and I landed up with an offline..an offline which had the the link to a video...and I was asked to make sure I watch it...whenever I find time..and I thought how long it takes to watch a video, clicked it as soon as I saw the link...it turned out to be a whooping an hour and quarter long video....

No ways can I watch that...watching that is like watching a movie..and well, when I can't read a self-help book, when I'm absolutely opposed to an idea of someone preaching me, how can I sit through a lecture...over an hour long lecture...but then I did see it...there are few people you pretend you won't listen to...but then even you know, when they no longer force you to do a thing, you would do it...so yeah I listened to this..."This" being the video...a video I had earlier heard about...the book associated with it being a best-seller I had read about...

And I am pretty glad that I did...just in case, you find as useless time as I do (which is the time I try my best to overlook/ignore/pretend there exists no office work :D ), try giving it a watch...as for the person who gave me this, you can be on cloud nine, that not only did I watch it, but am even giving it a publicity (though truly it doesn't need any more publicity...)

And being the cry baby I become at times, that I cry even while watching animated movies (and lets not get into that, I already have a complete blog dedicated to animations and my tears ;) ), I did end up with moist eyes and even tears at a couple of places (so much for that guy, read Randy, trying to b an idol and inspiration :P ) But then, this video raised a lot of questions...a lot of thoughts (none of them related to my childhood dreams..not till a couple of hours of watching it at least, after that, I did think of my dream of writing a novel...n if it is at all feasible or not :-| ) but in the end, I just ended up with a very debatable question (and me being me, has already debated about the two sides of it with a couple of close to me people :D )

The question being, "Isn't it better to know before hand that you have so n so few months left to live?" ... At least you have those months to be yourself....to cherish and do what you want to do...to be with the ones who truly matter...to really see yourself in true light and be honest about your feelings and choices...after all when you can count your life in months or days, you probably won't care about a future and do things you detest doing, for the sake of building a perfect future...isn't having a warning bell, that common you have done it all, now sit back and cherish whatever you have built till now for next few months before saying it all goodbye, a kind of gift...

I have heard both sides of it...people who agree that yes, knowing that you have a lil time left, is a precious gift of enjoying and living in those moments...and then there is the other side, knowing that you don't have a long time left, isn't every minute an agony of knowing that you have a minute less of being with the ones you love...you have a minute less of reaping the fruits of all the efforts you've put in across the year...isn't every moment a tiny death in itself...isn't a quick instant, unknown death better...but won't you regret missing the chance of telling the ones who meant the world to you, how special they were...or probably shouldn't we be more connected and honest with them and tell what we feel each n every day (and trust me, don't try doing that...you won't be taken seriously, in fact you would probably qualify yourself as a crack case :D )...

I don't know, probably this is the kind of question with, "who came first, hen or the chicken"...everyone might have a different feel and answer for this question with their own logical reasoning...and well, being a gemini, I probably don't have a straight-forward, one single answer for it...though at the moment, I am more inclined towards the "give me a few months notice" option...after all, truth be told, there is a lot I have to say (yeah a lot I still have unsaid even after talking endless day in n day out...n blogging too :P ), and then there are few people, I truly have taken for granted...I don't find words to even tell them what they mean and how I feel, I don't want things to suddenly end...not before I truly have the courage to tell them how important they always have been...and then of course there have been those very few (un)blessed ones, who are sick and tired of hearing how crazy I am about them, I really need to turn them insane with all my feelings before I finally let it go....

So I better get anything between 3 months to a year's warning...and till I don't get that, I guess I am going to be just me...totally moody, totally mysterious...talking a lot in thin air, and yeah, dreaming about, I don't know whether childhood or adolescent dream of, finally writing a book (and this is hoping that I would get enough time to write something in my warning period :D )

Time to finally shut myself up (for the time being), but in case you by chance (or are forced) to read this one...do give it a minute of your thoughts (because I know you can't b as vella or as busy ignoring work as me) and honestly pick your choice, if you had the option of knowing it or just not knowing it...which one would you have picked??

PS:- To the one who kind of forced me into seeing this, I know this isn't what you wanted me to think or in your words, learn from this video...but then as I've accepted n told you since a long as in really long time, we two are two totally different people...while you 'll b watching it for inspiration and to learn, to find ways to succeed in your career, I will somehow end up finding an emotional side in it...at least, the sides we would identify with would be inclined in opposite direction...but that's how it is, we have different priorities or outlook in life I guess...but that doesn't make respecting the other any difficult...or caring an harder...It's just that you happen to be one of the above mentioned (un)blessed one :P

I a"m" fine..."m"y laptop isn't :-|

It has been so long since I have been here...since I last had my non-stop rambling...as for updates, the most important update for this blog is, a month back my personal laptop thought that enough is enough, since I already have my work laptop given to me (which was made to sound like a real gud thing but is actually a way of making sure v can work even when not in office :( ) it's time for the almost 1.5 yr old laptop to take rest (something IBM Thinkpad doesn't think till date, n it's over 6 yrs old now)...

So well, to cut the long story short, overnight the M key of my sweet cute personal laptop stopped working...and I am too lazy to find a service center, n in any case HP being HP covers me just for one year, so I am still with the laptop keyboard minus the M...but yeah, "osk" has found a new fan in me...but just letting u know, in case there is a word u can't understand, try placing a M there somewhere, most probably u'll get the word right :D

Back to the long break...guess that's what job does to you...since last few weeks, schedule for me over the weekdays has been to count days till weekend...and then I don't even realize where weekends go...that too when I literally have done nothing in them ;) So yeah, every Monday morning I think...okie, you spent this weekend with all what not, next weekend make sure you've a blog..n I am all geared up to write a blog on Friday night...but then comes Monday morning...n I don't even realize :(

To be honest, nothin much has happened in life...same old...other than the fact that I watch more movies now...like a couple every week, rather than my usual one in a couple of week...I am done with all my "To-watch" series and completely geared up to start watching the on-air episodes of every series I follow now that the new seasons premier this Monday on...that's something to look for...

As for work...I've accepted two things...life goes on...and so does work...it never is goin to stop...some of us wud continue working day in n day out n then there are the more genius of us, who just don't have to work...to b frank, till now, I haven't been able to find my way into either of the group...so the search of the secret is still on ;)

Haven't read enough books in last few months...in fact, I did read few...but not good or bad enough to spend time talking about...

On personal front...there are a lot of thought that are on in my mind (after all thoughts find more space in my head in the absence of brain :P ) I frankly don't know how many thought are worth speaking out here...how many should forever remain in my secret closet...but I hopefully (I really have my fingers crossed) would come up here again (in less than three months :P ) and try understanding why people behave the way do (and I am people too :) no bias) maybe just voice few of my thoughts...

But before parting, one thing I have learned it....no matter how strongly you believe u won't miss college life and all the things people say about missing campus is a hype, trust me you will...even me who got bored with all the classes, and had no real deep attachment to places as such, is very very sure...colleges are any day better than jobs...Jobs are the perfect way of realizing how lonely life can be...toh jaate jaate meri taraf ka gyaan...if you are young...and fortunate enough to b in school/college...make as many friends as you can...because once you grow old, you just happen to lose friends...rarely do you make new...

I'll be back...this was just to let one n all know, I am alive...the phenomenal  shift from studies to work hasn't killed me...not yet anyways...I miss typing non stop...I miss formatting the blog...and I 'll call it adios before I start missing a lot more many things....

June it was...July it is....

It has been a long time...since I spoke up...naah...since I have cribbed...over the blog at least...I mean, come on! about a month or so since I showed myself up...and now I'm worried...is this what JOB does to you?? People ask me if I liked Hyderabad...and I am like...oh, isn't it too soon to say...haven't been here for long...if one weekend went in looking out for home (which I sadly never found) another went in shifting places (service apartment came forward to save me!!)...then there was a weekend I spent sleeping around..and another was claimed by the first gal in our gang getting married....and well this weekend, I need an excuse for not exploring this weekend...well, simple...I was busy thinking and plannin for my blog (as if I've ever thought or planned before writing whatever I've wrote till date :P )

A couple of days back a mail dropped in my official inbox (it receives almost 10 mails a day, and I frankly detest opening any of them...why is the frequency of mails in my regular inbox that high...it at least gets the mails I would like to read...) and it was a survey (my company actually believes very strongly in feedback...for every lil thing we do, we insist on feedback...pity, we aren't true in answering most....) and it made me realize that it's a month since I've been working (trust me, the payslip does a better job of reminding you that  you are through with one month...how I wish, salary came in every 15 days...it gives you something to b happy about for a week or at least 2 days :-/ )

So it's a month of working...of staying in the southern region of the country (which i successfully had evaded for 23 yrs of my life :-| ), a month of giving up my sweet schedule of sleeping post 3 (now I find it hard to keep my eyes open past 2 even on weekends X( ), it has been 5 weeks when I've counted the 5 days of the week to pass on quickly (which they never do ) and prayed hard for Sunday night never to come (which always does..who says God hears you always n grants you things you truly wish for... :-S )

And the month....well it was a month of roller coasters (a perfect Gemini Month)...from the absolute highs to the lowest lows...seems like I've been through it all...I found, I lost...and I found to lose again...somewhere the  work is supposed to bring stability in your life, but my search for the same continues...I am supposed to b busy working but still in between all those training n looking at the watch for it to strike six, I happen to find time to think...and thinking, frankly is very dangerous to the peace of mind :) Thankfully June is over...and here is July...the month of Cancers (honestly, I don't have much of an idea about Cancerians...but they have to b simpler than the complex lives of Geminis....) All in all, everything has changed in professional (or rather say impersonal) life...and I've my fingers crossed for the personal one...I need some fresh breeze in there...and well, "Isharon ko agar samjho....Raaz ko Raaz rehne do!!"

This is all the mindless rambling I'll make people suffer for the moment....and well hoping to be back here, sooner...than last time....Have a happy peaceful time!!!

PS: I just got a message saying this July has 5 weekends in it...which makes it have just 20 odd working days...I was about to get happy, but then I realized that I've worked for just one day till now n already used up one weekend...moreover, I've to finally move out from training rooms n hit the workfloor in a while...Who says happiness lasts forever!!!

PPS: Well as in the pic...I'm still waiting for a Miracle...let's see if it happens in July :D and well...now moving ahead to read the info about the link (story) mentioned in the pic..in case you've lots of spare time here it goes...just click in once, n maybe I won't b sued for copyright infringement!!! Link: The Miracle in July

To A New Beginning....

Hopefully I'm all set...and ready to retire to the bed (very very hopefully I'll fall asleep too...after all I woke up at 8 today and have tried everything to ensure I keep my eyes open throughout the day, just in order to ensure an early night!! ) 

Tomorrow would mark the beginning of a new phase in life....the corporate journey...finally, after escaping for almost a good 24 yrs, work n job have captured me....maybe for a while, maybe forever...frankly speaking, I don't even know what to expect...and I don't want to have any expectations either...whatever it brings would hopefully be nice, better than all the phases I've witnessed till now (though I seriously doubt it...and I'll put my thoughts at rest because if I go on wondering about it, I would be setting up expectations :P )

The beginning has been of extremes...witnessed a slept off Hyderabad at 10-11 in night (a sight you never can find in case of Delhi..), then saw the Hyderabad of yester-years...the simplicity of life...one off shops, lil grocery places...and finally after 15 hours of stepping in Hyderabad, witnessed a completely different city...a city of calls and tall towered apartments...of all glitter, and in all probability a city which would wake even post 12....stepped in an amazing guest house...and then saw the hopeless dining services they have (in fact had a dinner I never would forget in my life...waiting can b such test of patience with good doses of humor put in ;) )

By the way, I don't know about the other guest houses where the new recruits have been set up at...but I can seriously confess that the company has earned quiet a few brownie loyalty points from me for putting in a place with wi-fi connectivity...though again, I hope that this 24X7 connectivity doesn't make sure that I'm up in night till 2-3 a.m. (like I always have in hostel and home)...and then either sleeping till 10 in morning or yawning whole day (coming to which, how does the sweet recruiters of mine expect the fresh bees like us, totally spoiled after 2 yrs of college (considering even people with work-ex), who are so used to miss the morning 9-10 am lectures to report at the venue at 8:30 a.m. ...sheer inhumanity...and to add to the woes they expect me to hold back my yawns for a 10 hours induction session they have :-o Nahi Ho Payega!!!)

And well this post...this is yet another of my on the run post...where I frankly have nothing to say, but just updating my life...as if I one day years henceforth, I would return and have a journey back through the old days...this is me signing off...and hoping for a gud 6 hours sleep (baaki main 10 hours mein se for sure 2-4 sote hue nikal doongi :P ) Adios!!!

PS: How I wish, I really had someone to clink the glass with!!!

Of Courage, Challenge & Checklist...

Yeah, haven't read any novel in the last 24 hours...just didn't feel like it (guess I've had an overdose of them n there would b nothing like completing 14 novels before being sucked in by the job!!) Actually I did read one page and back cover of a lot many novels, nothing really interested me at the moment (and definitely no more of teenage novel for a while, someone reminded me that I'm more like a grandma :D oh no, I should be sad about this one :( )

But while looking out for books (not for reading myself, but finding out few books which can work out as gifts..no luck yet, I would be grateful if someone actually can suggest me the absolutely giftable books :-? )I had a lil brush up with GoodReads (just for the review, which I never seek out for myself but need to while thinking about gifts..) and somewhere on it's homepage was a lil tiny miny link called Challenge...it was a target you had to challenge yourself...number of books you are planning to read...and though I felt like putting something like 50 out there, I stopped myself...common, taking a challenge needs a lot of courage...it's like making yourself susceptible to failing...and that's an absolute no no...at least for an adult (one more point why I should be sad about being called a granny X( )

Just makes me wonder, how n when did it happen...I remember a time when I used to be so vocal...I want to be so n so..I want to have this n that...I plan on becoming this...this is definitely going to happen in my future..back when I was a kid (don't you dare say it was centuries ago :-s ) I remember very openly telling everyone that I plan to marry my dad (thanks Ma...for letting me live ;) )...then there was the plan of becoming a doctor (just to clear, I was scared of blood even then, but damn, the docs look so smart!!), then there were plans to make movies...so much..and never did I once shy from telling it out in the public..then why is it that today, I hardly ever speak out about my dreams, fantasies...none of the ones I spoke of ages back succeeded but I still don't feel like a failure for them...but today, I am scared of confiding my plans to even myself, because I don't want to turn out to be a failure...I don't want people talking about me, saying "Hey!! Look at her...she planned on being so n so...she wanted to achieve this n that...and where she ended up!! " :-s :-s :-s 

That's one big peril of growing up...As you grow there is so much little you say (and dare anyone roll their eyes n wonder if this is what my little is, what my lot would be like...you are not even allowed to have any such thoughts...that's a complete me zone :D :D :D ) Growing up is supposed to make you stronger, and doesn't being stronger means having more courage...and if you are courageous, why be afraid of failures...( I know velle logon ko bahut velle khayal aate hain...bear them for another 10 days :P ) and with these thoughts, I thought (yup, again don't roll your eyes, I definitely can think X( ) why not try and show a lil courage and once again speak of few dreams out in open (phew...really courageous when you know that you very intelligently have let your family know of your blogs...doubly intelligent when you realize that every time they read a blog of yours they might be trying to find deep hidden meanings and never tell you what they found :-/ )

Anyways, I rarely do think of good things...and this idea looks good enough (and looks can be deceptive :| ) So before I change my thoughts, I better get going n put up a little checklist (of things I want to achieve or things I want in my future) and again, with time people change, their choices change..everything changes, so can the list (even if because of circumstances and not just because my mood changed..) But at present, here goes the list (and you are lucky that I am getting down to the list after just about 2 pages of random talking ;) ) They are some big big wishes, some crazy ones, some sweet and well, some devilish....

a. I want to own a Mac (and mind you, I said own, so it doesn't necessarily mean that I have to buy it... you can go ahead, gift it to me, and make my wish come true :D )

2. I want to pen down a book (can't be anything other than fictional novel, and even if it's about real people, you know me being as intelligent as I am, am going to call it fiction only!! ) and, very important and, that novel needs to get published...again an and, needs to sell at least like a 4 digit copy (main jyada nahi chahti :P :P )

c. I feel like, one day; I want have a doctorate... I mean common, I gave up my chance of being a doctor ( I seriously did it for the betterment of the society...imagine you being in an accident, have a tiny lil cut on ur finger...and you go to a doctor to get that checked...she looks at the cut, sees blood coming out of it...n behold...she faints...you won't like to call an ambulance to get the doc admitted rather than having your cut healed...would you??) the only other way I can have anything related to the doctorate thing is by doing a PhD..and though I have had too much of studies to be able to tolerate it anymore, I guess for some dreams, you got to toil...let's see if I ever am able to get a doctorate (this is one wish that can really really change any day :P )

4. I dream of experiencing a candle light dinner followed by a walk in the beach...I mean there definitely must be something great in it...why else would every movie (and now even every Ekta Kapoor, Rajan Shahi or any XYZ's serial) have it...kuch toh feel good factor hoga and I need to experience it...but then first thing first, for having any such thing, you need to have a person with whom you can have such thing...guess I should close down FB and GT rather start logging on to better places (being the sweet innocent soul I am...how am I to know any such better places...you can always suggest few ;)) )

e. I want my family to stay together...united..minus the tu-tu main-main (mmm..visualize something like Sasural Genda Phool!!) And well, I kind of always have been in a nuclear family...add to that, even after having two siblings, I somehow ended up being the only daughter ( di n bhaiya,  you have been pretty useless as far as being present for sibling rivalry and sharing is concerned...and I'm ready to forgive you guys just because you both have been great in giving me gifts (being an Indian bribery works for me...and I'm back to bracket ke ander bracket yay!!) ) So I just want to experience my family as the big joint family for at least a while...like a month or so (common we don't even have a family photograph with every family member in it, n it's not my mistake if a new one comes every second year :P )

6. I want a lifetime free supply of ChocoLava (or at least someone please ban it's rate hike!!) I've recently realized that I can even forgo the cheeseburst, but I absolutely, critically, necessarily can't resist ChocoLava (and my dear Dominoes, better remove the condition of a pizza must for home delivery...Chocolava alone should qualify as an order X( )

g. I want to have a successful career (duh!! so dumb...everyone wants that na!!) but it's like I've some big dreams (so big that I tend to keep on waking at night...aise bhayanak sapne ni dekhne chahiye :| ) Being the youngest of the lot, makes it kind of obvious, that you don't just have to be good...you kind of need to be better ( I know my parents believe that I've done very well...which to be honest I haven't..but well being the youngest they give me a lil partial treatment...and my siblings are more like my parents so there isn't anything like competition....but there are a plenty of role models for me between my parents and siblings)...I have either listened or seen the ones close to me have a very moderate start and making it to where they are today (which is nothing like having their names in headlines but they all r really well settled and at good places) and I don't want to be any different...

viii. (was bored of even two ways of numbering the list, so tried the third :D :D ) I want a happily ever after...and this one is for those who dared call me a granny...I'm still the chotu sa baccha who loves fairy tales...life I know is full of ups n downs (have had more than what I wanted..but well, that's how life is :-s ) and I'm fine with it (things you can't change are things you accept) but somewhere down the line, I want to see myself settled...with no major worries or uncertainty in life...having the answers to all the major challenges of life :)

nau. I want to have a blemish-free love story...and I am very compromising gal....I am ready for a love story even after marriage (of course with the guy I marry...don't you start having some wrong ideas :P ) but I'm just being realistic...24 yrs old, single, with a big list of eligibility criterion...it's tough finding a guy who would dare enough to have a love story with me...that too an everlasting...so I'm ready to let my parents capture a scapegoat, but he better works towards fulfilling this ambition of mine ;)

decade. Last but not the least...I'm not a very courageous person...so this one would be a coded wish...there is something, beyond this list which means a lot to me at present...somewhere a part of me is giving up on it...somethings are just not meant to be you know...but then there is a part of me which would hold on till it can...I just hope the latter part wins...and I wish I have what it takes to stand for it...to believe in it..and to be true in my efforts for it...

Now that was some list (crazy one I know...but that's exactly who I deep inside am...) Aur fir, kisi cheez ko bahut shiddat se maango, toh poori kayanat use dilane mein aapka saath deti hai na....taking law of nature and probability into account...at least 50% of the wishes should come true...and you guys being a part of kayanat  can always gear in n help making the wishes turn true!!

Filhaal at 3 in night...I so wish that the Gurgaon Electricity Board stops playing with me and turn the power on!!! (I need a 5 minute of modem on to post this blog and well, sign off all my account...so that when Pa logs in the morning, he doesn't sees all my accounts open n wishes to have a saner n more sensible daughter :P )

Post-Script: Gurgaon being Gurgaon...the light never showed up...not before ma was up and busy playing Freecell...sighs...so it's another 6-7 hours before tha public gets my torture :D :D :D

iReview: "Other Words for Love" by Lorraine Zago Rosenthal

Pre-Script: How I wish my arms were long enough to reach my back and I could pat myself...for a simple reason...it's the third book I'm finishing in as many days...that's the benefit of being at home...and I'm even more glad because I am reading, rather than watching the re-re-reruns of the serials on TV...Last but not the least, I am hopeful that one fine day, I actually will gather the skills of reviewing a book in the nice proper manner...but till then, I'll keep writing at least about the books which really touched me...Thirteen Reasons Why was one...and well Other Words for Love is yet another...

In fact these two books have made me wonder if I ever grew up...these are the books based on teen characters...and I'm like 5 b'days ahead already...but still...I can relate to them...I can feel what the character are feelings (okie never the suicidal part of the previous novel)...Either I'm stuck to being a teenager (And I will be happy...after all which sane gal wishes to age after 16?? ) or maybe we Indians experience at the age of 24 what gals of West experience when they are like 16-17...

Coming to the novel...It didn't have much of a back cover note kind of for me to determine if I would like  it or not...I didn't check the GoodReads rating before opening it (I guess the forgetful me always does it somewhere in between her reads)...just having the word "Love" in the novel is often an incentive enough for girls my age (or rather in teens lets say :P )...and the starting of the novel scared me...It was set in 1985 (I still wonder why?? maybe because the author didn't feel like using cell phones or internet chats :-/ ) and I never have been good with classics (yeah to me anything before the time I was born is a classic!!) 

To be honest, the starting few pages weren't all that encouraging...the only thing that kept me going was that the chapters were small, made you feel that you are making a good progress and the number of pages in the novel were less...added advantage :) And the author being a first timer (another common feature between this n previous novel) I actually never expected much...

So the story is about a 16 year old gal, generally referred as Ari (please don't ask me the complete name, it was complicated :P )...it's about her life, her family, her school, her friends, and of course her love life...what I loved in the novel is the fact that it revolves around just a handful of people, and every character has a depth to it..they are all well defined and shaded out...and well, the novel shows all the facets of love...casual love, affairs, love for someone who is dead, love for your child, love for the spouse, the dream of love and happily ever after...every character of the story is interesting as per me...and none has been comprised for the sake of highlighting Ari...

It's the story of Ari who never found acceptance in her peer group (though I don't know why...but let's just accept it she doesn't and it's not very hard to accept for me..) it has bits about Evelyn, Ari's sister who as per her mom failed in living up to the expectations...it has Evelyn's husband (who I don't know how come attracted so much female attention but eventually like for loving his wife)...it's about Ari's parents (her mother mostly...the father is not much mentioned but I loved a couple of scene between him n Ari towards the end...they sounded so real :| ) and then it's about two completely different friends of Ari...and finally about two guys in Ari's life...her dreams of settling down and happy ever after (and don't you dare ask me since when American gals think of settling down at the age of 18..yup the novel traces her from 16-19 about ...)

I won't go on saying how much I accept the ending, how much I don't...it's a person to person perspective..some would love it, some would hate it and some would just hope it could have had an open end...Goodbyes are never easy, and to some people like me, there never is a final goodbye...the novel has some really sweet moments (the ones a gal like me can absolutely fall in love with)..it has some real heart breaking moments...love isn't always about happiness and love doesn't always motivate you to move ahead...at times love leaves you crushed...and that's the time your stamina and strength is tested...again, I don't accept the part where Ari actually fell into what looked like an abyss...but then it's realistic...it probably is what generally happens and I am so thankful that the novel didn't end before getting things right (I wouldn't have stood by a second suicidal novel :| )

All in all, an amazing read...just keep the patience for the first 75 pages...take whatever the crap is happening as infatuation (and we know it actually happens!!)...after that it's a compelling read....

My Rating: Definitely a 4.5/5 ...this one deserves it...at least from all the young readers (yeah I like to call myself that and I'm sure lot many else would like to call themselves young too :P )

Post Script: I realized at the end of the novel that the writer is a psychiatrist...maybe that's hoe she understands and brings the emotions and feelings of every character so alive...I never felt an over-drive of emotions are a lil bit too much of melodrama...give it a read, whenever you get a chance... :)

iReview: Thirteen Reasons Why

Pre-Script: I found this book while I was randomly browsing a books catalog...the few lines in there were eye-catching...this novel promised to be different...how often do you find a novel about a girl who is dead...who in fact, ended her life...but not before leaving her last words, for people to listen....whether they wish, or not!! And trust me, when I found the novel, I thought I have found something uncommon...only to realize, after I finished reading, this novel has been a big hit..has a completely dedicated site to it and soon releasing as a movie (a fan made trailer) too!!

Suicide, has always been a topic which raises few eyebrows....no one really knows why people kill themselves, or at least we never understand...somewhere most of us, have thought about ending our lives...killing ourselves...but then, it's just a passing thought...the same way we think about bunking a class (and the useless ones like me, generally just think about it, never able to do it in reality :( ) or like we think that we should start this business venture...definitely, death isn't a pleasant thought...so in the end, none of us know (other than those who have had a failed suicide attempt) as to what was a reason so big enough that they finally got the strength to end it all..the debate of whether someone who has it in him/her to end their life is a person full of courage or is someone who just isn't brave enough to face life....

This novel, is just an attempt to understand what leads someone to decide they have had enough of life...and no, I'm not praising this novel for justifying a suicide...in fact this novel, in my eyes, is a wake up call...a wake up call that seemingly (un)popular gals, the ones who r hyped, the one who have a completely active social life, are hanging on to life by a very thin thread...a thread which can snap by ever so little incident...It's the story of Hannah Baker, a teenage gal who has recently killed herself....It's the story of Clay, a guy who loved her, but just didn't have the strength to confront her...it's a story about their school, their classmates and their teachers...

A chunk of it is difficult to relate to...simply because Indian environment is a lot different from the western school environment (at least I haven't had that school life :) )....but then, a lot of it is actually identifiable...the confusions, the gossips, issues of heart, dreams, hopes, the thin line between right and wrong, blames and parties....there is so much in this novel...seemingly small incidents, the ones we don't even realize are happening, leaves an ever-lasting impact in few lives...

One thing, this novel stresses is, a suicide isn't the result of one massive upturn of life...it's more often than not a series of lil events...and probably all it takes to avert a person on the verge of killing themselves is a supporting shoulder...someone who can listen, someone who can accept...but worst of all, generally the one who is about to end it all, rejects all the support which comes to them...because in their eyes, they aren't worth it...a suicide isn't about someone who blames the world of their miseries, it is more often about a person who blames themselves for the miseries of the world...

Coming to the novel's narrative...it's a dual narrative, which is handled very well...the italics for the girl's voice in tape...normal font for the listening guy's actions and thoughts....13 people who the girl thinks should know about her story, because they had a part to play in it...a couple of stories weren't the ones who warrant attention...somewhere I missed the parents of the gals...they were in-existent in the story (though the boy's mom turns up...n she in fact leaves a friendly presence...) But then, in the end, I don't think the gal could justify her decision to kill herself (somewhere I wanted to see her alive at the end of the novel...wanted that as a shocking event...but nah, guess it wouldn't have worked well for the novel :| ) 

And other than a couple of people who the gals take a stab at, I couldn't find a problem with the rest...what they did, is probably what all of us to at some point in life...it's nothing conscious, it's just the human nature...maybe in the end the novel tries to leave you with the question if you can actually help the ones who decide to end it all...it definitely motivates you to...but is in check with reality, that maybe you can't...you can't help the ones who can't handle life...who either take all the blame, or just pass all the blames to the rest before ending it up all...

Give it a read, because it's different...because (for the likes of me) it hasn't been long since you've lived that life yourself...or because the people around you, the ones who matter to you are living this life...read it, because a lot of it is identifiable...read it to understand how seemingly worthless actions of yours can alter someone's life (even if that someone happens to be a gal who can make a mountain out of a mole!!!)

My Score...well 4/5 (you gain it all for the concept and the narrative...but you lose one because, well I just couldn't accept that all that happened in Hannah's life was an excuse good enough to end life!!)

Post Script:- I hope everyone who ever has or will read this novel, 'll end up believing that they are stronger than Hannah...that they are better and more determined than Clay...because in the end, a suicide affects the people around the victim way more than the victim itself...just to ensure you sleep peacefully, make sure; everyone who matters, who is reachable...is happy and sane...

iReview: 'Never Look Away' by Linwood Barclay...

Back to a book review after long...not as if I didn't read books in between...did finish John Grisham's "The Confession" and even mid way through yet another by Jeffery Archer, "Prisoner of Birth" (midway because of project deadlines n then exams n definitely not bcoz there r issues with the book, I definitely 'll resume it one day :) )...but then I felt that maybe reviewing books isn't in my genes (I mean common, my blog is more of incoherent thoughts written down, how do I deal with something dealing in facts and reality :P )

But then this book, has been a lot of firsts for me...so this had to come to the blog...this is the first book I've read by the author (and I guess for a long time it's going to be the only one, because well...this one is claimed to be his best production till date...and why read other books by the other and ruin the impression you've about him :) ) ...

Then again this book is the first book I read a gist of in the recommended books section of ToI (they had it in the weekend planner of theirs on Friday...things to do over weekend...and how do I let them know that I finished the book they recommended in like 24 hours...and no other book in the list given by them excites me enough to start them....I need more nice recommendations!!!)

Another first in this book was, the way it's written...most of the novels I've read, has it all in a third person sense...there are characters, and those character's actions n thoughts are discussed...a complete impersonal way of writing (and well, I doubt, that's how I prefer it even now)...but this novel was different...it was all full of I, my mother, my father n so it goes on...reading a novel in the first person, was definitely a change; and probably the only way I really am not much fond of...I mean common, you are a author, the main character of the novel is a journalist, but still there is something more comfortable in talking about third person rather than the "I's" in the novel (or maybe just that I don't adapt to the changes well!!!  And it reminds me, most probably Chetan Bhagat writes the novels in first person...but then his novels r still believable, ones you can relate to...this novel is a pure fiction...and definitely not something I want to relate to ;) )

Coming back to the novel....it's written in the simplest of English you can think of (at one point of time it made me wonder if Barclay has some Indian connection!!!) and what's more interesting it, there were points in the novel where the author had used lines inside brackets (it felt so sweet, I can't express it in words...he keeps the faith alive in me that maybe one day...just one lucky day, I actually can pen a novel :D :D :D )

So the novel is a perfect storyline, in case Ekta Kapoor feels like making a thriller (common, even she is slowly, at snail's pace, moving away from the Saas-Bahu regime..) it has all the twists n turns in place...starting from the slow notes of the I (David Harwood), a journalist with a simple usual family (including a wife who has issues like every couple does, a naughty son, parents who are just like the typical parents) and has big ambitions about journalism....it starts up as a story about the guy who wants to find a story, curb corruption, bring the true picture of  the political set up in place...but well few pages down the book, as in real life, his personal issues starts shadowing his professional troubles...nothing is what it seemed...and he is left wondering if he even knows the identity  of the woman he was married to for 5 yrs, is the mother of his 4 yrs old a women capable of maternal instincts??

Starting from slow notes, a guy working on a news story, planning a family picnic...to the guy who lost his son, found him only to realize a missing wife, for whose murder he would be a suspect, a wife turned strangers...strangers who have a hand in the whole ordeal he is going through and strangers who would face the ordeal themselves...at one point of time, you might even feel there were a l ot too many characters in the novel...characters who really weren't needed...who didn't have a depth...they were there, maybe to increase the thickness of the book....

The book has its fun moments...the detective (Duckworth), mostly has nothing special in him to stand out from rest, but his lil personal side ( the way he sneaks sweets n high calorie food while investigating the case while his wife has put him on strict low carb diet, the way he feels the things aren't right when the clues keep pointing just one person, and so on) makes sure that he doesn't become one of the investigator we love to hate just because they r hell bent on framing the guy n get him behind bars...

It's a simple book...a make believe book, a book which can make u wonder do u really know a person u have lived with years...it goes to high profile sections n then comes back to day to day usual life...in the end it's just about common people with (thankfully) uncommon incidents...

Give this one a read, if you like thrillers...if you are into family reads...if you don't want a novel who keeps you on the edge with every page turn (at one point you may feel that the twists and turns are getting predictable...but even that's worth, because  you 'll continue reading just to find if you were right :) ) 

The best part about the book...you won't end up hating anyone...even the one person behind this whole commotion is bound to win over you by the end...this book, somewhere shows that we are a product of our upbringing....even the worst of us, the most inhumane of us, have feelings itched deep in us...and it's only when we are looked off, not cared for attended to, that brings the worst out in us...

For a happily ever after, for a family that stays together...for the love that grows and blossom year after year, there is just one way...."Never Look Away!!!"

Steps Away to Goodbye :)

A journey of one year, nine months and 3 days now....yeah, I still remember the day...27^th July, 2009; when it all began...that was the day when I came to DoMS, IITR...unsure if I would even be a part of it with my fingers crossed...that was the day of on-spot counselling...The day, when I officially conformed my Hello to the place...and today, over fifteen thousand four hundred hours later (okie, before you complain, thank me...I just reduced it into hours, not minutes or second....bhai thoda melodramatic hona banta hai...I'm an Indian above all :D ), the last couple of hours actually made me realize that it's almost the time to say goodbye..

Officially around 10 days, unofficially anywhere around 15-20 days...and no longer would I be able to crib about the hostel food out here...or rue the fact that Roorkee hardly has any proper shop for girl's clothes...nor would I stare ominously at the weekly time-table to cry over the fact that the faculties are way over their regular 30 hours limit....and yeah, I definitely can no longer earn anyone's sympathy for having endless classes on weekend, when people in most of the B-Schools are busy having fun and going out...to think of, I found too many issues with this place in last almost two years....but very soon, these would be the issues I would miss...because somewhere down the line, the grass on the other side is always greener..

Right now (rather till a month or two back), the life outside the classrooms and hostels....outside this whole educational system was kind of alluring...today, I still want to go out (just being honest)....somewhere I have had too much of studies and exams ( okie, former I in reality don't do, but later I'm forced to do...even if for the same of formality :P ) but the thought of a world outside this cocoon, isn't that pleasant anymore....there would be responsibilities and duties waiting outside...that would be a life full of profession...and it's not as if academics would go away from that life....but somewhere I'm quiet sure, what would be left behind would be the fun times...the opportunity to sleep whole day without any regrets....the last minute copy-pasting of assignments, the doodling when class is going on, late night gossips and leg pulling times...somewhere, slowly all this would fade away from life...

I've been a typical, mature, unapproachable me I believe...there are very few people out here who really know me well...rare are those who are close to me (and these rare species, I do hope, does know they are rare, in fact at least recognize you are the ones I'm indicating ;) Isharon ko agar samjho, raaz ko raaz rehne do ;)) ) and yeah, for the rest, I do regret not knowing much about you guys n gals....but this is how I've turned out to be over the years....trust me, no one feels as guilty as me for not being downright approachable and easy going, fun-loving gal...there are no big excuses for it....but that's how I am...for the moment, since some time (and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one day I'll change....but whether that one day would come in this lifetime or not, I am not sure ;)) ) 

None the less, I am sure all the 11 gals (excluding me of course...duh!! Common Sense!!) would definitely always be in my memories....in one way or the other...there definitely would come time when out of blue, I suddenly would remember an incidence involving all of you...bitter, sweet, sour, warm, cold....whatever they have been, they have been memories created, without realization, with no intentions...and they are here to stay forever...I haven't been the best person around....nor can I ever claim to be even remotely angelic...I just am not (and I doubt if I even have regrets about it...now be true, all white isn't that great, in fact, as the dresses for the farewell suggested, black is the flavor :D :D :D ) I have been far from my best...and it's now too late to change...but as we move out of this hostel, somewhere I'll always cherish the opportunity to have been able to spend time with you (okie, time to take a break, main Ekta Kapoor se inspired sound kar rahi hoon emotions k maamle mein :P ) Rest assured, it would any day be a pleasure to meet you naughty, lovely, angelic, devilish, cute, chirpy, plotting, scheming, giving, caring (and now search some dozen more adjectives from POD) outside the city called Roorkee...I'm sure, even though we would disperse in far off corners of the world, we still would be in touch...forever (if forever exists ;) )

As for the lesser befriended guy's side...I guess, all interactions have been limited to just a handful of guys...in fact somewhere I'm sure, there exists few in the male gender, I haven't even exchanged a single word with in those over 15,400 hours ( :"> ) As usual, it's again too late to amend that..but all in all I definitely can claim to know everyone's name n face :D :D  ( trust me an achievement, I definitely had no idea about all the guys in my B.Tech batch ;) okie okie, the batch was just 10 times larger, but still!!! and if any person back from KIIT is reading, please do not ask me to guess the names of guys in the different section of the same branch too :P ) And personally we might not know each other, but as batch-mates, we definitely have some memory or the other in common :)

Now, before it gets endless...and starts reminding any poor soul who actually is reading it, about some of our favorite faculties (not mine, but definitely every faculty has a fan following ;) ), I guess I should cut the whole scene short....but let me warn you, this ain't going to be the only post about MBA or our/my two years here, or a bunch full of complains or memories, but for the moment, this should do..

So here is for the goodbye we would be facing in next two weeks, which never would mean the end....because if nothing, memories sure are forever :)

PS: Please do not kill me for making a post out of anything...few things definitely are easier to be said impersonally....a face to face emotional talk (or Ekta Kapoor's melodrama for that matter) is again something, which doesn't come to me :(

They...

It's like remembering a scene from Hum-Tum.....There definitely exists a story between Hum and Tum, or so they said throughout the movie....and yeah, story they did have...even if it took a decade for it to meet a happy ever after....but then, that was a movie, does life has something called happy ever after...more often than not; life, by the virtue of it, has phases of up n down, ever after....what Hum-Tum had in store must have been seen by Indians a number of times with some smiles, some laugh riots, and some dedicatedly emotional people must have enjoyed it with tears... 

What They have in store, no one knows....neither does He, nor She...not even Me.........

You and me, meet a number of people in our life, some leave their footprints strong in our mind, some steal a part of our heart, and for the most...they just don't make a difference....with time the footprints grow faint, the heart recovers its pieces, but then there are times when all that time does is make the thoughts go deeper, hearts grow fonder...for these are the times when someone special walks in our lives, to remain there forever...the only irony of the whole situation is, on the face of it; we just never know where every one of the thousand of people in our who comes in our lives would fit....only time tells, there is just no being proactive about it....

He and She met....They had to....somethings are just destined....but neither does she nor he, knows when did they first meet each other....do you call their first meeting as the time when they together crossed the busy road intersection along with at least another two dozen people, or was their first meeting a lil less crowded rendezvous, like the time they brushed across each other in the school corridor....

He remembers noticing her first when her name featured somewhere in the list of "Girls to Date With", a result of  some very determined and diligent efforts put by one of his friend....it was all in fun, but then; he being he, should at least know every girl featuring in that list...even if she happens to be somewhere at the end, or maybe mark the end itself....

She, well she being a perfect she, can't ever confess knowing him before he noticed her....girls, as an unwritten rule, never take the first step....if asked to her, she would say, the first time she noticed him was when she received his friend's request....his profile pic, as per her, was the first proper look she had given to him....for he didn't look much familiar...and though they shared an array of mutual friends, adding a stranger, was just not cool....

But yeah, they did notice each other...they did over a period of time acknowledged each other's presence...formal meetings, informal gathering, common friends....when you are a teen, a lot is happening...to ensure you keep on bumping into each other, every now and then....and to be honest, they in reality, had no idea, when they actually took a step ahead of looking, meeting and noticing....

And that was how it was....for the years to come....they were their...just for the moment...same school, kind of homes in near vicinity (though never did one visit the other), the same building where they spent half their time...classes together at times...gossips that reached both of their ears...at times consistent, polar opposite at other views...the only things that actually did bind them in those early years were probably things and people who ranged from the ones to leave footprints which fade with time to the ones which never made their mark in the first place...

Neither of them had anything above acknowledgement for the other...they were two different individuals...so different...he was busy hanging out with his whole big gang of guys...trying to come out as the Cool Guy...he had a persona of carefree life...enjoying the moments..taking things as they come....She was completely opposite...there wasn't a gang for her, she was happy with the lil bunch of close friends....the demeanor of a girl mature more than what her age demanded...no one could even in their wildest dreams, could see her as The Happening Girl...They barely were what they looked in people to make them friends...so, forget a love story, it would take them years, to even become a friend....if ever they do....