Saturday, March 10, 2012

The other side of the 'Expectation'...

There is one thing we all probably have heard or been told a number of times..."Root cause of all the heartaches and troubles in the world is having Expectations" ...there have been sermons I have read and heard, asking us not to expect anything...for if we don't expect a thing, those expectations won't be broken down...it wouldn't hurt to see people behaving in a way we never dreamed them to behave in...it won't kill us to see things we thought would surely happen turn impossible in this lifetime...

And still, at times I wonder, there is something worse than having expectations...it's knowing that people expect you to do something, to be someone...to behave in a way, u really don't feel like behaving in...it's a risk to expect something out of someone, but it's a hard task to come true to someone's expectations...it's easier to expect any day, than to stand true to what one expects you to be like...I am who I am, and still, I know very few will take us for who we are...there are so many layers to each of us...and sometimes I am sure, it's not us who wishes to be a person of multiple layers...it's just what the world made us...we come to treasure few people, and then we realize the expect something from us...to those people we become what they believed us to be, for it's better to add a layer in our personality, than to risk losing them...

No one is really perfect, I don't even understand why anyone is expected to be perfect...life has never been perfect in itself...else why would life be full of ups and downs...then why are humans expected to be always nice, or few are blamed to be always evil...I really doubt black and white exists in this world...it's mostly always grey, though we hardly accept it...

I know I've been hurt...for I expected a lot...from people, from things, and yes from life itself...and still, when I am out of that cribbing and crying mode (which I rarely am :P ), I do accept the fact that I've been blessed way more than many...I am blessed with a love, unconditional love at that...I might not have turned out as the happiest person, but I never was not cared for...and still, I expected more...I expect so much more out of people...and when I think of all that is expected from me, in those few moments I realize, how much I am burdening others with my demands and wishes...how vocal I am at times with criticism...

How do we judge someone...we all have different parameters of right and wrong...when we don't agree by those who judge us, how do we gain the right to judge someone else...how do we really go about selecting a person to be good enough for us...and that's exactly what we have done since childhood...picked friends, took sides, categorized everyone around us a person we looked up to or down at...when does a child starts doing that...who taught us to do it...I even wonder, did I really expect anything as a child...I guess not...and still I was happier, not because my expectations weren't there to be broken...simply because I knew no one really expected anything of me too...not something life changing...

Now, it's scary...now I have to sit and wonder, how am I really supposed to behave...how would certain action of mine be comprehended as...do I come across as too arrogant, or am I behaving too clingy...actions lose their fun when you have to think a hundred times before taking it...and still, that's what happens these days...I am doing something, but what would other think of this action from me...would they find me an attention seeker...or am I going to come out at someone who wants to be aloof...

Yeah, it's yet another mindless banter...but still, just give it a thought...how many of us would behave the way we behave..and do the things we do, if only we knew, we are from the expectations of the world...growing up is an irony...you get independent, you are free...and still, you are caged behind the bars of expectation...you can't fly, because there is the web of world's rule book of the right and wrong...

Having expectations hurts....but knowing, you are the one the world and people expect from; is tougher to deal with....like it's easier to blame, than to do....but then, I don't claim to be perfect, I have my shortcomings...so what, life hasn't been perfect to me too...and we all still love life, so I really am not 'Expecting' too much, if I expect people to love me :)

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