Night Dreaming...A novel, by me...

I have been hearing about Monday Morning Blues like since forever...but in all honesty, you never really understand something, until you experience it...so yeah, since last few months now...Friday mornings are the ones I welcome with open arms...Saturday mornings are sweet...Sunday mornings are a li'l dreadful...but Monday, the lesser said the better :D

Last year I had thought I will make sure to put a post every month...and now looking at the blog-roll, I know I missed a couple of months...but not bad for starters...I mean anything you decide for a new year, kind of backfires anyways...this time, hadn't thought of anything...but now I feel like hoping (praying, believing, whatever) to come up with a post every week...it's too tough for me, I know...for I rarely find any topic to write...but still, let's see how long I can continue with it (and I am not too optimistic about being successful :| )

How has the first week of the new year been...honestly, not bad...not till now in any case ;) Completed a few novels...definitely found nothing much to review about them (though maybe one day when I really don't find anything to write about, I will go back to review a couple of them)...other than that, one thing, I have realized is, I actually do really want to pen down one...it's tough...damn too tough...specially given the fact that I have such short attention span...but damn...every time I go to flipkart, and see yet another engineering or management student coming out with a novel, I feel like I am outgrowing my age to come with one...sighs..

And I was worst hit, when I found a book written by a guy in his 12th standard...still wondering as to how people find a publisher (then I will thing who buys the books...I haven't yet bought the 12th standard kid's book after all...) But all in all, with nothing to do on weekend (except sleeping, and killing time...and if not these two, then jeopardizing the bank balance by shopping :( ) I was just wondering, is it easier to write fiction, or is it more convenient to write a book based on your life...kind of had a whole list of pro's and con's drawn in my mind...

Pros of a personal life incident, you don't really have to research much...after all, you have lived through that phase, who knows the facts better than you....you just can't go wrong, historically, geographically...or even emotionally....and when writing about something related to you, it's far more easier to feel it...to actually describe it in a believable manner, because well...it really had happened, and what has happened, can always happen again...with you, or someone else next time...

Cons...well, the biggest con of writing about something personal is making yourself vulnerable...I am kind of a crazy person...I won't talk much...I like to keep withing myself...but once I talk, I kind of find it hard to hold back...so yeah, I often end up telling people close to me all about me..and even that scare me at times...trusting someone is a li'l hard...but once you trust someone, believing your trust won't be broken is kind a li'l more hard...and when it's tough to believe that the ones who know me inside out won't judge me because they know the real me, it's tougher to imagine exposing yourself to whoever buys a bucks...it kinds of need bravery to let people who can spend a few buck know about a personal part of you...a life you lived, loved or hated...liked or detested...

Me being me, would have definitely thought more about cons you see (yeah, I am not called a borderline pessimist without any reason ;) ) Every so often in life we do things and kind of regret doing them sooner or later...how do I ensure that exposing a part of me won't lead to any regret...phew!! 

See now, that's one reason, I haven't even begun writing a word down for my dream novel...I still am not sure whose story it really would be...all I know is, I believe my life is interesting enough to be put down in words, in a story (yup, that's the 'khushfahmi mein ji raha Me part' ;) ) but at the same time, I don't know if I really want to let a lot of people (okie even a few hundred are a lot) know about me...rather to think of it, I wonder if I would really like the me that would come down on paper while writing a journey through life...

So yeah, those plans are still on hold...I'm still busy weighing down the pros and cons...the two sides of Gemini are busy fighting, arguing and holding down the judgement...and I should hold back on a never ending post, once again all about 'ME'...that's how egocentric and self absorbing I can be...but then it's better to be lost in Me...rather than to deal with the one you can't forget, no matter how hard you try..."Monday Morning Blues" 

PS: I'll definitely try to be back with something better by next week...well but gear up for a lot of such no sense, no logic, simply blabbering post...after all I have to come with 52 new ones this year :P