Over the years, I have been complimented for my vocabulary...I am supposed to be the one with excellent collection of words with her...in fact, there honestly have been times when I have been accused of using my ways with words to confuse or convince people of things which I don't really mean...again, over the years, I have insisted, that words fail you where things, rather, people who matter the most are concerned...
It's easy for me to write down long official mails, it's not all that tough for me to write long personal mails too...in fact anyone and everyone who has ever been close to me, has witnessed one of my never ending mails (with few honest souls even accepting that they never found patience enough to read the mail entirely...) But eventually in the end, I still feel, I fail to put even 10% of what I feel in words, no matter how I try (and you better not blame my feeling too much for this failure..) And honestly, even when I put so much in words, I know I am better just with letters and mails...I lose it out in saying my feelings aloud in person...
Something happened just a few minutes back...something very small, but something very sweet...just made me realize, you don't really need words to care about someone...in general, the more you love someone, the less you tell them, in fact the less you are able to tell them (there always are exception, I have one of my own...and I am glad that there is at least one person I really can tell what I feel for her...blessed)
Sometimes to understand someone loves you, you need to ignore what they say and how they behave...you just have to be alert to see how they react...sometimes the ones who really love you and care for you are the silent ones...who never said a word about it over the years, because they had no clue how to express themselves...that's how true, genuine and surreal the feeling is...
But at times, even those who play with words (yeah I have to come to my case too :P ), who keep on repeating the words to convince you they mean it, do mean it (so you better trust me tiny-miny bit)...there are those who say it aloud, there are those who cannot...there are people you truly let yourself exposed to...there are cases when the stakes are too high...even me being me, fail to tell what I feel to a couple of people who mean the world...and every so often, I am scared, I won't ever get a chance to let them know what I really felt for them...the ones who really are, are the ones we take for granted...
I don't know what is better...to love and never really express it in words, or to love and keep reminding the other person about it day in and day out, so much that the other person stops cherishing it...I have no clue as to which love is stronger...I know I feel awesome when someone truly tells they like me, they care for me or they love me (you never can be sure how true what they say is ;) ) but at times few unsaid gestures leave me in tears...there are people I won't forget for what they said...there are people who would forever be in my mind for how they made me feel...
But for sure, when you fail to find the right set of words...when you write something and delete it tens of times...when you want to say something but you loose your voice...when all you do is be silent...sit out in a corner, so much in corner that the person might even forget you exist, it's love...
I know few people love me, even when they never have said it aloud in years....I know they know how much I love them, because I doubt I will ever be able to put it down in words...and I just hope, one day we all realize sometimes, when words fail...it's because there is too much of love to be spoken about...
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