I love love but...

I guess I was just waiting for d clock to strike 12..so dat I don't break a promise on promise day itself..yeah I know I had promised a proper post wid proper reasoning and perfect reasoning and I frankly doubt if this post wud qualify dat criteria..for a change,this is my first post from mobile..so hopefully it 'll b small given how typing on a touch phone is a deadly task..

So coming to d post..d week of love made me feel a lot of things..starting from d fact dat I'm almost 24 n single, it was a mixed feeling..yeah I can b a lil upset over d fact dat everyone around me is busy making plans n celebrating wid their partners n I'm sittin in my room..blogging :P but then again I'm happy too..I don't have to worry and fret abt buying gifts n making plans..everything has pros n cons..being single is no different..

There r actually instances which make me wonder if I can actually survive in a relationship..I mean I know I'm sweet,cute n adorable :P everyone says so :D but I doubt myself in a relation..was just analyzing myself as a gf candidate..n realized I'll b a big let down..just jotting down d shortcomings of me, for a change khud ki burai hi sahi afterall even during our interviews v prepare to answer what our weakness r n try to justify them as strength..this ain't going to b any different :D 

The list can serve a dual purpose..can scare off any guy who thinks of getting in a relation with me,haan baba khushfahmi hai meri ki koi aisa galti se bhi schema :P par here goes d list :)

1. Meet the Maharani: Yup, dats d nickname my roomies back during B.Tech days had given me..n even they accept it wasn't bcoz I was lazy, which I am,I accept..no one really did give any concrete reason for it..but everyone feels I'm too pampered by my family..spoilt wid things I necessarily don't need..right from excess of clothes,to phone replacements, imported coffee n what not..it actually just makes me a lil demanding n choosy at the same time..tough for a guy to handle :D

2. Sole peaceful existence: Yeah, even a management degree doesn't help me..I just am not fond of going out..love my solace..I like being alone and love being wid close friends..but I'm a social disaster..a complete no disc no pub person..so I very much am a let down to any guy's social group..wud love to spend time with d guy but he definitely wud miss on showcasing his gf to d world..I just am not d right person for it..more of candlenight dinner..a walk at d beach person..

3. Chatterbox: As I said, I love being with friends..and any guy I get in a relation with got to b one of my closest friend..I don't talk much in general..but in known close groups I just love to talk..I doubt guys can continue talking for hours once a reln is like a year or so..tough job to do :)

4. Rebel Me: The pampered soul, dats me, has issues being told what to do, how to dress, where to go..I mean it's a big negative..but unless it's a request I take it as challenge..I am a feminist I doubt at times...I just can't take the orders, it any day feels great to do things u r asked not to do..afterall no one tells me how I shd behave when my parents hav given me freedom to live the way I want..

5. Ambitions: They make u strive, they make u work hard..they make u see d dreams, but they r very tough for d people around u..I know it bcoz I've seen it..I've seen how expectations kill u..how u r required to match d success ur siblings have attained, b equally well off if not more..n I've no issues from people who expected from me..they r d ones who love me d most n want d most for me..do not want me to get stable n stale..but I've become too ambitious maybe..

When did d wishes of those around me became my wishes I  don't know..par today I want a picture perfect comfortable life..I, without any guilt, openly accept dat love alone wud never b enuf for me..I'm practical enuf today to realize d value if money n basic comforts of life in absence of which love slowly fades away..bitter truth

6. Hot headed: One of the biggest con..I get angry quiet too often :( trying to work on it..still no solution..and the more I love n care for someone, more I'm open or close to someone, the higher r the chances of dat person listening to my useless angry crap..yeah I cool down soon but d damage is done..I end up saying lot of hurting things which I rarely do mean..n no use being sorry then..I know I don't deserve being forgiven, though there r those pampering and spoiling souls who actually have always ignored my angry banter..

This is one point I actually have no excuse for..but it's may e a true law..v hurt only those v love :-| and I'm becoming an expert of dat..sighs

7. Mr. Perfect: I'm a gal who can't use even d most common of slangs..in fact I know people find it shocking d way I generally am stuck to 'aap' in my conversation, including my lil nieces n nephews, turning to 'tum' only wid friends of my age n rarely ever does a 'tu' slips off my mouth...tough for a guy to match..u can't b a guy till u hav few slangs on tip of your tongue, till u can pass few double meaning comments in friend circle..and I actually don't mind it..but I refuse to accept such talks to happen around me..so a guy has to b hyper alert to ensure he doesn't slip sum not so gud word while I'm around :P

Similarly I'm absolute teetotaler..n I can't stand smoking n drinking..maybe I'm just scared of it's consequences..so I do get cold feet as soon as I see a guy getting into either..looks like soon there wud b just no eligible guys for me..again sighs ;)

8. Respect: Again a tough deal breaker..a relation as per me won't survive even when there is a lot of love n no money issues...I do need to respect d guy n b able to look upto him..n believe me, earning someone's respect is even tougher than earning a person's trust..specially in case of me..I myself feel dat I've too high standards, I expect too much..but then I know there exist guys who have all my respect so shouldn't d one I've to b with whole my life deserve d same :)

9. Insecured: Bachpan se..na jaane kyun..I'm both insecure n possessive..once I love a person I can bear anything but loosing dat person..I mean I'm into things completely, there r just no half measures..I'm just too scared of them..I, touchwood, haven't lost anyone close to me..witnessed distances cropping up,but never been completely shut off..and I can't bear d thought of same..so well I'm ready to face anyone n any situation...but u just got to convince me time n again dat u won't leave me alone midway..I demand hundred person commitment bcoz I give dat..

10. I'm a Gemini: Yeah the list can keep on going..and even touchphones can't reduce my post size..but well..trying to make d last point out of unlimited reasons..on a bittersweet light note..I love being a Gemini. It's one of d most colorful n interesting zodiac sign..but it's most unstable too..I know zodiacs r like a superstition but still..I do find few right applicable points...

I've kind of dual personality..tough to handle...

It's hard to grab,n if grabbed retain my attention..

Commitment comes a lil late for me...

I love my freedom n individuality..being with just one person completely is a kill daunting...and a threat to independence :D

And so the list goes on.......

Wow now I really do know d mystery behind my single status..n well it's not all dat bad..I do have lots of chocolate supply, soft toys, people who care n 'll always be around me, a really loving family...and again last but not the least, the right to flirt n eye any guy I want too..without being wrong..it's nice to keep on evaluating guys n find dat they wud fail some parameter or other..sadistic pleasure :P

And no hard feelings..I really am happy for all the couples around me...trust me when it has to happen it 'll happen with me..n I know a lot 'll change in me over d years..so well one day people might even pull my leg n say inni bad bad baatein karti thi n dekho ab sab defy Kar rahi hai..a part of me wants dat day to come soon...a part of me is celebrating the singlehood till it's bestowed to me :)